I am really on a new life journey. I am altering the woman I once was and devoting myself and my life to greater things. I can recall a time when I dreaded lying down for bed at night because there was always something terrible to think about. Terrible thoughts lead to overthinking and that lead to crying myself to sleep and waking up in such a horrible mood. Now days I am rejuvenated, I am upbeat, I am a whole new me. I am truly a whole new Amber.
My previous post touches a lot on my past relationships and past issues that held up my journey. I say held up because I was distracted. I was so caught up in fixing the things that my spirit was telling me to walk away from that I could not progress. I learned that your process teaches you many things.
My process taught me a lot of things. What am I referring to when I say process? I mean what I had to endure and go through to get to where I am now. I am constantly sharing with you all my progress but what would my progress have been without the process that I have been sharing? I think it’s also important that all of you are aware that what I’ve shared has come and gone. The tears I cried, the pain I felt, the hurt, the questioning myself, all of that no longer lives in me. I can openly admit that it took me FORVER and a day to let go of all of the things that I was letting take over my life. Today I can reflect on those times and openly share those stories but they no longer make me. They no longer make me feel confined of restricted. It is extremely important to learn to release your past. We all make mistakes in life but mistakes are meant to be made. Acknowledging your mistakes brings you so much closer to being at peace. For the longest I blamed everyone else but self for everything that I went through. Nobody was at fault but the other parties involved. I could not take accountability for what I was allowing myself to go through. Even now, I can tell you all a million and one stories about the men who hurt me, the betrayal I’ve faced, the friends who’ve crossed me, but I often have to correct myself. What was I doing to allow it to happen? I didn’t see it coming the first time but I stuck around for it to happen again. It’s been said: “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.” I knew what to expect from the people I allowed to constantly withdraw from my life and not make any deposits in return yet, I allowed it. Now that times have changed I am very careful. A lot of the situations I blog about some of those people are still existent in my life but just from a distance.
I can see them all reading my blog and feeling some kind of way about my post. I don’t share what I share to bash anyone from my past or try to portray them in a bad light at all. My mission is and always will be to enlighten others and myself. I recently learned that an extremely private woman is a suffering woman. I found my voice through all of the things of my past and it is with great pleasure I broke my silence. At one point I was scared to be open about my past. I was afraid to be viewed in a different way but I stopped caring. I knew what it took for me to heal, I knew what it took for me to get better as a whole. Sharing my experiences isn’t just helping me it’s helping whoever is reading. My days are filled with completion and joy when I get emails, tweets, Facebook messages, instagram comments, etc. about how I’ve inspired someone to change. I’m overly vocal and I am carefree and candid because I am healed. My healing has inspired someone else to heal or to take further steps to their own healing process. My journey has not been easy and believe me I am NOT even close to being done. I have so much more work to do on myself and in this world. I’d like to share with you all my daily routines that keep me motivated, uplifted, and in great spirits.
1. Surround yourself with likeminded individuals. I never really saw the importance in this until I started to alter from a little girl to a woman. I saw that the more steps I took forward I could not expect everyone to tag along with me. I slowly started to break old habits and head down a different path. You have no idea how difficult it is to live a positive life with negative influences. Surround yourself with positive influences. It doesn’t have to be physical presence either. It’s ok to devote your time to strong, like minded women/men online, or through books, blogs, as well.
2. Release, Exhale and Elevate. Release the things that have held you down and held you back. The process is time consuming, strenuous, and at some points it gets discouraging… Keep moving forward no matter the weight of the battle. Exhale what is left inside of you. It’s okay to breathe. It’s okay to exhale the hatred, the jealousy, negative thoughts and so on and so forth. Inhaling all of that is what keeps you in bondage. Elevate yourself and your life. Don’t remain stagnant under no circumstances. How can you release and exhale yet you’re refusing to elevate? I read online a post by one of my favorite women. “God said to end the relationship. Ending the relationship does not mean keep the friendship. You are giving room for what should have died last season to exist in your current season.” –Tera Carissa Hodges. That’s not just with relationships either, it’s with everything. If your mission is to release and remove it from your life holding on to it only allows it to grow and continue to hinder you in your now season.
3. Be healthy and honor your appearance. I couldn’t tell you how many times I walked out of the house with my hair looking half done, no makeup, half dressed and looking a hot mess. It’s only when your spirits are low you have no desire to take care of you. I’ve learned that no matter how I am feeling if I am healthy and looking good than I am feeling good. I go for runs around my neighborhood, I go for walks around the lake, and I work out in the comfort of my own home. I have fun finding different fruits and healthy things to eat to make sure I am good health and good shape. Anyone who knows me can tell you, Amber is silly and carefree and full of joy. When you’re feeling great you’re in great spirits. I also take vitamins and I am slowly working on cutting out soda. (That’s a work in process my Pepsi addiction is hard to shake.) I shop for myself…. I love when I can buy a fresh pair of heels, and new skirt or dress and wear it out and heads turn. No matter how I wake up feeling if I take the time to keep me looking good when I look in the mirror my mood shifts and I feel as good as I look.
4. FOLLOW THROUH. Stop saying what you’re going to do and just do it!!!! Be a leader and be an example that you can achieve everything you have your sights, hearts, and minds, set on. Diddy always said: “Don’t speak about it be about.” I hold that phrase near and dear and I am learning to be a woman of actions not words.
5. Know, Love, Trust, and have faith in the almighty himself. Lastly but surely not least know God, have love him and honor him enough that you begin to live your life mirroring his. We all aren’t perfect but I think it’s important we acknowledge that some of the things we partake in or our very own actions sometimes isn’t what God prefers. Love God so much that you want to be a better you. I am working on building my personal relationship with God and I love and value his opinion so much. I can admit there were times in my life that I heard God telling me “Amber that isn’t right.” But we all choose to follow our own ways rather than following what God tells us. I have now learned to surround myself with individuals that support and encourage my relationship with God. I do not want to be around or surround myself with ANYBODY that can potentially encourage me to spiral back down a road I don’t want to travel on. I’ve learned to now trust that God has my best interest at heart. When I am unsure about something I pray. Not only am I praying I am taking the time to hear what he has to say. If I don’t get an answer right away I am sure to approach that person or situation with precaution until God gives me the ok. I trust that he’s always here with me. I trust that once I pray for something or about something it is out of my hands and he now has complete and full ownership. I trust that God wants to see me shine and succeed so I’d much rather follow him than follow the crowd or do things my own way. FAITH… If it’s lost, temporarily missing, or just tucked away, FIND IT! Force yourself to walk in faith daily. Your own eye sight is of no use without faith. Yea you can see where you’re headed but faith allows you to KNOW you’re headed there no matter how near or far you are.
I am on a journey into someone I never knew I was and someone whom I never thought I’d be. I encourage you all to wake up daily on the quest to become the person who you’d never thought you’d be. Be inspired. Be encouraged. Be Blessed! I have left behind my old ways and I am not living IN A WHOLE NEW WORLD.
P.S. I want to share with you all some of the things and people that inspire me and keep me sane. I start my day every morning with two apps on my phone by Joyce Meyer. “Starting Your Day Right!” and “The Confident Woman Devotional!” Both of these Apps include daily bible verses as well as stories and prayers. Throughout my day I am checking in on twitter reading tweets from Tera Carissa Hodges https://twitter.com/teracarissa She’s a truly anointed woman with a great spirit. She gets me through the toughest days. I am also checking in on Heather Lindsey’s twitter: https://twitter.com/HeatherLLove she’s just as amazing as Tera. There is nothing better than being headed on a path and being able to follow women who have reached what you seek. These are two women who set the standards for what real women are. In the evenings I read Heathers blog site: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/ which I just came across two weeks ago and I haven’t been able to put my phone down. I read at least one or two blog post each night and I’ll send the links to my girls so they can stay in tune as well. I read my bible and I also write in my journal which is another way I spend time with God and find peace at night. After a long day at work, dealing with my own problems, and coaching my friends I need me time. That me time is typically spent with me talking to God. Whether I am verbally speaking to him or I’m writing in my journal I take that time very seriously and it really helps. I work out or go for a run to clear my mind. I listen to music that puts me in a great mood and calms me. I hold conversations with those I cherish and make sure that my conversations are meaningful. There is nothing worse than ending your day gossiping and polluting your mind and the minds of others. Lastly when it’s all said and done when I am ready to say goodnight I read Joel Osteen’s “I Declare” http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-declare-joel-osteen/1110913426 it’s a book of 31 promises to speak and declare over your life. (I purchased the book on IBook’s on my IPhone but the link above is a direct link to ordering on Barnes and Nobles site.) I end my day with that so that it’s embedded in my mind before I sleep. I go to sleep with something positive on my mind and something to look forward to so I wake up in good spirits. Very lastly and most importantly I end my day the way I started it with prayer. You can never pray too much, or too long. Some say prayer gets tiring because what I pray for doesn’t happen when I need it to. Remember that you’re o… WE are all on God’s time. It may not happen the moment we pray for it but God will always see you get what you pray for. Try praying, prayers of gratefulness and thankfulness more than you prayer to God for help or when you’re in need. Simply acknowledging him for his grace and his mercy is more than enough and lets him know you appreciate him
Amber Janae xoxoxo