Where I want to be!


Every day I wake up I know that there is some other place that I’d rather be going or something else that I’d rather be doing. I wake up every day at 4am, I pray, groom, and catch a train at 6am to the city for work. I am in an office all day typing endlessly assisting others, jamming to the hottest music, trying to zoom through my to-do list because a list of demands is constantly coming through my emails. I usually turn my chair around and stare at the quote framed on top of my desk to simply remind myself that it’s ok to turn to God at any hour and ask of his hand.

By the time my day is over I am headed home on my crowded train during rush hour commute and unable to hear myself think. My thoughts are as jammed as the train that I am on and I am non approachable wearing a smug. I get home and I cook dinner and prepare for the very next day without much energy or time to do the things that completely satisfy me and my soul.

I’d much rather wake up every morning to the sound of the birds that live outside of my window rather than an alarm. I’d be satisfied sleeping in and waking up, letting some soothing Jaguar Wright blow through my speakers as open the drapes in my bedroom and let the sunshine shine in on me through my window. I’d rather mosey around a little, check my emails on my iPhone, dance in the mirror in my boy shorts and my favorite ACDC t-shirt that I turned into a crop top. I’d be happy with the fresh smell of brewed coffee as I walk downstairs and see the sunshine on my back patio. I’d pull out my laptop and prepare for another day of writing, releasing my emotions, creating new characters, and giving you all, the world, a piece of me that keeps you entertained. I have an amazing career but I know deep down inside my heart desires something more. My soul is aching to be satisfied and right now I am only satisfying when I have the time and energy and I am not worn out from taking care of business in the real world. I know that there is plenty other things that I’d rather be doing and places I’d rather be going and my time will come. First and foremost I am being patient and working on God’s terms and not my own. He laughs at me when I tell him my plans and it’s quite embarrassing. For many years I was a pusher, I was a go getter but I was going too hard. I was scaring away everything and everyone that I sought after simply because I lacked one of the main keys to life, patience. Now that I am a bit older and a bit wiser I am doing all of the things that I have to do in order to be able to do what I want to do.

Take a moment to reflect about your current situation. Is where you currently are in life a hindrance? Are you unhappy in any way, shape, or form? If so than maybe you do need to reevaluate. If you are dreaming, setting goals, working toward them, and accomplishing them one step at a time than you’re on the right path. Refuse to settle and be comfortable and always go for what you want, know and love. I encourage you to practice loving yourself until you get it right. I found that the more I loved me the more I could adapt to any situation, any atmosphere, etc. nothing really intimidated me. My love turned into confidence and that confidence became a strong sense of courage. I love who I am and most importantly I love who I’ve become. I know that who I am becoming is taking me to all the right places my pretty little heart desires to go.
Be inspired. Be encouraged. Be blessed.
Amber Janae



2 thoughts on “Where I want to be!

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