So have you all been tuned into Basketball Wives Season 5? Yesterday I finally had the opportunity to catch up with episode 2. I must say that watching it really turned me off from Tami Roman once AGAIN. In episode 2 Evelyn openly expresses how she included an incident of infidelity that went on in new cast member Tasha Marbury’s marriage in her book. Basically, here’s a brief breakdown. Back in 2006, Tasha’s husband, NBA player Stephon Marbury had an affair with their chef. When Tasha got wind of the affair the couple paid off the chef to keep quiet. Apparently, they didn’t pay the chef the original amount that they had agreed upon so she went to the media with the story and it all went viral.
Here’s my problem with this…
Tami got wind that the story Evelyn included in her novel was based off events that Tasha had actually gone through. Tami then assigns Suzy to do her “dirty work” and grill Tasha about this in Tasha’s own home, at a dinner Tasha invited all of the girls to. This woman is going out of her way to accept these women and she does not even know that they are on a secret bash mission behind her back. This drove me crazy because it seems as if Tami never really grows out of the vindictive woman stage. Every season we get to see Tami angrily interact with every cast member. Clearly Miss Roman suffers from the “Mean Girl” syndrome. What I despised about this event the most was Tami pressured Suzy to ask Tasha these questions at dinner and she later pretended as if Suzy was in the wrong for bringing it up. There’s always one out of the group who has issues with identifying with other woman. It brings some women great joy and pleasure to make other women look bad. After being bashed on twitter for her actions Tami released a statement:
“I wasn’t being messy, I was trying to be armed in case Tasha tried to play me LOL … I do feel bad something like that happened in her relationship tho … I felt bad and told Suzie not to say anything once we got to Tasha house, but she did anyway-better to ask face to face than behind her back.”
Basically what I got from reading her statement was, she wanted to have ammunition on Tasha in case she chose to call her out at the dinner table. One thing to keep in mind is that an insecure woman is always on the defense. You can always tell when a woman is uncomfortable in the skin she’s in because the defense mechanism is her best friend. She’s always making snide remarks in an effort to tear someone else down. In life we all will encounter the “mean girl” but it is all in how you handle her. You cannot fight fire with fire. You’re going to cross paths every day with women who portray themselves as the one who always keeps it “real.” Beware that the woman that attacks everyone, or possess the snobby attitude is NOT the one who’s keeping it real. What I’ve noticed over the past few seasons watching Basketball Wives is that Tami is all talk and very little bite. Granted, we’ve seen her fight on a few episodes but her main targets are always the women who she feels won’t stand up to her. Over the years she’s successfully dragged every cast member into hating another cast member or forcing someone to feel the way she feels. I myself, think her behavior is wrong and honestly boils down to deeper rooted issues. Some women are so insecure and have issues with feeling excepted by women they feel are more superior than they are so, their first action is to attack instead of embracing who they are and learning to cordially interact with others without all of the extra. I think one major thing to keep in mind if you’re ever faced with dealing with the “mean girl” is, there is always underlying issues that results in her acting the way she does.
A confident woman loves, embraces, and cherishes every one she comes in contact with. I think it’s only right to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they’ve shown otherwise. A woman on a mission to get ahead in life values interactions with the unknown because she knows that to get ahead you have to step outside of the norm. All of the other cast members on the show enjoy meeting other woman and giving them a fair chance. Tami on the other hand, finds it appropriate to give them a crash course and bring them down before she fully accepts them. Those types of women you shy away from! Yes, it’s perfectly ok to be in the same room and coexist with the Tami Roman’s of the world but you never want to become her. Be the woman who knows it’s ok to broaden your horizons and openly interact and make friends with other women. Stand your ground and never change who you are in an effort to get someone to like or accept you. If they aren’t fond of you now, they never will be! Don’t fight fire with fire!!! If someone feels the need to bash, attack, or bring up your past to make you look bad, that’s ok. What that tells you is, the woman that is coming for you isn’t completely comfortable with who she is as an adult. It suits her better to make you appear as something or someone you aren’t or once was because it makes her feel better about herself. Always remember that the “mean girl” hasn’t fully grasped ahold of her confidence. She feels inferior when forced to be amongst women she views is higher standard than she is. Her tactic is to break women down and have the whole team on her side while still appearing as the only one who “keeps it real.”
How to overcome the “mean girl” syndrome? Embrace and love who you are no matter how much it takes. Lean to be happy for others no matter how much it takes out of you. Stop using another person’s life as a mirror to yours because we all are not the same. It’s been said that over the years you cannot obtain what God has for someone else. Negativity blocks one’s blessings every day. Life is about empowerment, especially if it includes women. I believe that all women of all kinds should actively support each other and not find ways to hate or tear each other down. I cannot wait to see how the rest of the season unfolds. Only time will tell who will get caught in Tami Roman’s mean girl web. I hope you all will be tuning in with me. Catch the all new season of Basketball Wives (season 5) Monday’s at 8pm on VH1. Catch a video of how the dinner went down by clicking the link below:
PS. Also, check out the post I did on Evelyn Lozada, September 17th, 2012. It touches on her insecurities and how they result to her bad girl image, and why I feel it ultimately played a part in her actions on the show and her broken marriage: http://whoisamberjanae.com/2012/09/17/learning-knowing-remembering-your-worth/