I came across one of my favorite post. I wrote this over a year ago and my views and opinions have wavered. Love is a beautiful thing. I read once that pride breaks more hearts than love ever will. Let love in, embrace the love in your life because it’s a heavenly gift and beautiful feeling/experience to become one with another living being.
“A soul mate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for whom we’re pretending to be.” –Unknown
One of my readers asked me how do I know that I’ve found love? What to do when I’ve found it? It really all depends on who you are and simply what you classify as love. In my open honest opinion: Love is such a beautiful thing. Love is so unselfish and kind. Love comes in many different shapes and sizes. The most beautiful thing about love is its certainty. Love opens doors and clears paths that you never once knew were capable of opening or being cleared. A true love can only develop or manifest when you’ve found an undeniable love within. Loving who you are from head to toe, inside and out sets the standards and security on any relationship you’re in or entering into. I speak a lot on loving others how God loves and taking the time to build a relationship with God and loving others as God loves.
I feel that my faith helped me restore my relationship with my own self. I now have a better understanding of my wants, needs, likes, dislikes, and desires. When you spend time with yourself you learn things that you desire and require. You dig deeper for a better understanding of what lies within you. When you alter how you live and change the things you tolerate and accept the things that you desire become of better quality. It’s basically like shopping, we all love a good bargain but we know that if we want what we are purchasing to last a long time or even forever we need to purchase the high end not the knock off. Don’t settle for that knock off love. Settle for the love that exudes through your pores and your spirit. Choose the love that makes you glow and strut instead of walking. I always saw it best to choose the love that complimented me. A love that contributes to you and your well-being is a love worth having. Don’t hold onto anything that is subtracting from your happiness, self-worth, or what you believe in. Sometimes I have to question why I took a liking to certain guys. Was my attraction to the men in my past honest and pure? Or was I seeing a bunch of superficial, unimportant qualities that wouldn’t matter after so long?
When seeking love the things a person gains material wise should never be a factor in your relationship. You should always be seeking deeper then what one can provide. Check their resume`. How do they treat their mothers/fathers? What is their relationship like with their children if they have any? Most importantly seek how a person treats and speaks of themselves. You also need to be aware if that person puts their wants before their needs. We often shy away from committing ourselves to things long term because our needs over power our wants. When you put your needs first you often push away the things that you truly need to grow and become a better person. When you find love you just know… There’s a feeling within you that you know God sent this man/woman to me. I think it’s important to keep in mind that when finding love not everything will be perfect. Love often comes with obstacles and we may often face many different trials. You’re transitioning into something new and possibly something you aren’t used to so it’s going to be indecisive moments that create relationship obstacles. Sometimes those obstacles and trials are meant to bring couples together and strengthen their bond while other times it’s meant to show someone within that relationship you’re better off without the counterpart you’ve chosen.
Relationships are lessons, learning tools and blessings. It is our job to listen to our inner voice and what our spirit is telling us. At times it can be really difficult to focus on the lessons we should be learning because we are too focused on the person and distracted from the overall dynamic of the relationship we are in. 50% of relationships to me are about keeping your spouse happy and the other 50% is about doing what makes you feel happy and comfortable within your relationship. Gain a sense of trust and communication. You have to be comfortable enough to let your spouse know when you’re unhappy or need to see a change. I used to look for what was appealing to the eye or the guy that every girl wanted. These days now that I’ve grown and I identify better with myself my standards have changed. I now seek security and stability. I need and desire far more than someone that looks good on my arm. I am no longer looking for the one I think can finance me or take care of me. I learned a long time ago that a man is not a financial plan and should that relationship go sour, he leaves and so does your financial security. Keep your heart open at all times but also be smart. Not everyone comes baring the gift of love and good intentions. I think what helped me better understand and accept the fact that not all relationships will not have the fairy-tale ending was, accepting that not everything is meant to be everlasting. Some shit is just placed in your life to toughen your skin and make you wiser. Nonetheless, if you are in love, love hard. When in love, love wholeheartedly, fearlessly, unselfishly, and wisely. Support and encourage your partner, always speak words that will uplift them and never to belittle them or tear them down. Most importantly don’t go into anything until you are fully certain that you are the best you and you are prepared to fully support another living being emotionally. Women and men are both strong in their own ways but we are all human. When we are faced with troubling days we look for someone to confide in, someone to lift our spirits and reassure us that we have support outside of our friends and family. I fully believe in fighting for what you believe in. If you think someone you love is worth fighting for than by all means do what it takes. I do not encourage fighting for something or someone whom in return does no fighting for you. Love is challenging but in the end a relationships faced with many obstacles and things meant to tear you apart is so rewarding when you come out stronger and together. Keep God the center of everything you and your other half does. Be cautious not to interfere in another’s relationship. Always be wise enough to remember the old saying: “How you get a person is the same way you lose them.” Be Happy in love, grow, and love for all of the right reasons.
Be Inspired. BeEncouraged.Be Blessed, and LOVE!