What are you selling your soul for? What are you living life to gain? This is topic that comes up between my friends and I frequently. It’s very common these days to be criticized for doing things morally or politically correct. It’s like everyone has this fake it until you make it outlook on life…
I think we’ve a lot of us have unwillingly and unknowingly catapulted into a lifestyle/ way of living where we are made to believe that living fast and easy is the answer. “Those who run fast do NOT run long.” –Leilani Marie
Granted, we are ALL affected in some way shape or form by reality T.V. and the image or standard that it sets worldwide. We tend to live our lives vicariously through artist and reality T.V. stars believing that what they glorify is what’s important. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard a female say; (some whom I know personally) that their goal in life is to be a basketball wife or a celebrity wife. We are the now generation. With a vast majority of our generation babies having babies we are the standard. We all are a product of what we are molding. How many of you would be proud that your son grew up to be the next trap star or your daughter grew up to be the next video vixen, hoe, or stripper? Whether we choose to take responsibility or not we are shaping and setting the tone for what’s to come. I met a guy a while back who openly lived the fast life; he sold whatever and did whatever he had to do to survive. Immediately I was against this because I wasn’t aware of this prior to me meeting him. This guy was really sweet and he honestly and genuinely really cared for me but his lifestyle was forbidding me to get close to him. For many reasons I walked away from that situation but the most serious reason I turned away was because he constantly spoke on what he wanted to do but made no real steps to do it. He wanted to turn his life around, he wanted to be a better man, he wanted to change, but he refused to do it. I could not be the woman he expected to be there by his side 24/7, 365 waiting on change because what if it never occurred?
Regardless of if you’re going down your own path when you meet someone and you truly love them, their dreams become your dreams as well as their wants, needs and desires. Just as much as you are becoming one with this person and accepting what they wish to accomplish their current REALITY also becomes yours. It does not matter if you want to or if you wish not to become a part of the lifestyle someone else is living, if the two of you are together for a long period of time you become it as well. What drew me more and more away was the fact that he claimed he wanted different and he wanted to do better but he was raising a child. Instant no, no! I love how in today’s day and age people parade through life believing that it’s okay for them to live life a certain way and they are going to raise pro athletes, doctors, attorney’s, the next president, and so on and so forth. Contrary to popular belief, when you’re raising a child they grow up to see how you live your life every single day. When a child gets to an impressionable age they begin to pick up on things and habits that they see their parents portray. So regardless of what vision you have for your children when they are growing up it is the image that you give off that they attract and adapt to. I heard him say a million times that I don’t want my son to be like me, I want my son to be better than me but everyday his son witnessed him being the total opposite. It’s a growing epidemic and we are made to believe that it perfectly ok.
I grew up with a girl whose family raised her and taught her that a man should take care of her. Coming from a totally different background and upbringing I thought it was morally incorrect. I come from a family of strong minded, goal oriented, black women. My mother was awesome taking care of me. I watched her buy, homes, cars, houses, clothes, and food for our family all without a man, just working hard on her job daily helped provide. I always wondered how she did it. Watching T.V. growing up there was always a program on that glorified growing up in a two parent home, it made me wonder how my mother did it all alone and by herself without her husband around. To me she was superwoman. She set a standard. At an early age I was following the image that she was supplying. I can honestly say all of my life if my mother had a vision for me in mind I am exactly everything and possibly more than what she envisioned. Now day’s women who make an honest living are frowned upon by women who don’t. Its mind boggling that all of a sudden the American standard of a woman has changed. I think it all coincides with what is glorified in today’s day and time. The MTV’s and VH1’s show us that it is perfectly ok for the stripper turned rapper or singer to come into a home, break that home, and live comfortably off of a man and his income. They glorify that at 16 and pregnant I can wake up and become famous and it is easy. I encourage you all to get those images out of your mind. Stop letting the reality T.V. shows and your IG taint your mind. I am a strong woman at my age. Granted, I am not exactly where I desire to be but I am getting there. Everyday God promises me that if I am obedient to him his blessings will continue to rain on my life. I am planting seeds, and setting the mold for the moment I have children. I am perfectly okay with being an average woman doing things the right way. One Sunday I was sitting in church and the pastor explained in detail how a parents way of living is costly for their children, grandchildren etc. From that Sunday forward I saw life so differently. He shared all of these amazing stories how his grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles, did all these miraculous things for others when they didn’t have to. His family gave back, and did a slew of things for family and strangers. They helped others not on the account of getting something in return but simply because it made them feel good. They did these things but in the process of it all, unbeknownst to him his family was planting seeds for HIS future. My pastor explained in detail that when you plant seeds, those seeds grow and mature and the generations after you reap the benefits of your gracious gratitude. I took heed to what he spoke about and I promise you the very next Sunday I was watching Joel Osteen and he preached the exact same sermon. Of course it wasn’t word for word but it had the same message. I live my life today in preparation for who’s to come after me. I want my daughter to grow up a strong black woman without a need to depend on a man or the desire to degrade herself for validation. I want my son to grow up and honor women and know that there is far more to life than living it fast and easy.
I want all of you to know and understand that it is okay to be a regular and be great. There is no need to want to do a bunch of things that aren’t morally correct just to be able to portray a certain life on Instagram and Twitter. At the end of the day when it is all said and done we are all answering to God and not our followers on social networks. I want all of you especially my young women to be inspired. I want you all to grow and find positive role models and influences that inspire you to be great and do better. My good friend once said, “You do NOT have to be famous to be great.” I can honestly say that the goals and aspirations I have set for my life is not because I want to make it and be somebody the world knows. I am actually comfortable being plain Jane. What inspires me and pushes me is, knowing that I am inspiring other young women like myself. I am an average woman, not one bit concerned or worried about living a flamboyant lifestyle. My worry is security, and an honest living. My worry is remaining the same woman that my younger siblings, best friends, and family, even some girls I have never met personally look up to. I want you all to know that there is life beyond what you see on television. There is life beyond degrading yourself or living a life God would never approve of. It’s okay to be great and be normal. Material possessions never made anybody awesome or better than the next person the last time I checked. Strive for more out of life. Work toward long term security and not temporary fulfillment and excitement. I can guarantee you all for free, while there are a large majority of us living to impress the world there is larger population of us working hard so that 10 years down the line we possess far more than a hundred thousand dollar car and some Christian Louboutin’ S. There’s nothing wrong with having a plan for your life and wanting more to come of it but you have to work toward the change and want to see it more than you say.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.