God Will Make A Way

About 5-6 years ago, I lay stretched out in my hallway texting a friend. I remember this night clear as day. In our conversation I said that I wanted to write books in hopes to inspire others, mainly women. I said I wanted to write books, I wanted to revamp my blog and start getting my work out there. I said I wanted to share my stories in hopes to push young girls suffering with what I have suffered through in the right direction. My goal was to inspire women my age and older to see that there is far more life beyond their circumstances. I have survived a shit load of pain and if I could so could you. My goal has always been to get others to see that. I truly believe where I have always desired to be in life is growing daily. I am that woman who isn’t satisfied unless she’s giving a piece of her heart to others. I hate to see people being made to feel terrible about their lives or circumstances. I am not content unless I am offering love and support. Why? Because I have been that girl, I have been that girl too scared and afraid because people made me feel that way. Do you know how it feels to have so much hope in your life and be broken down? Do you know the pain of having a vision only to have people that you expect to support you label you vision impossible? Do you know the pain of not knowing whether you’re coming or going, whether or not you’ll make it through another day? I have had people around me build me up and for whatever reason it was projected in other ways, mostly negative. I used it as fuel; I used it as my ammunition. I wrote and published my first book, shopped it to many of publishers and it FAILED. I kept going! I spent years perfecting a book that I believed in. I had a large support system that eventually started to dwindle because they could not accept that I refused to accept my failure. I refused to believe that God would not make a way. If I had to learn how to put an entire book together myself, design my own book covers and pay out of my pocket, I would make my dreams come to life. So, that is what I did. I now sit on 3 self-published books, and another one on the way. I still live with the dream that one day a well-known publisher will realize my passion and talent. Or, maybe I will market my ass off and be a best seller on my own. I do not know God’s plan, but what I do know is I see it. I can taste it, I can smell it. I have spent nights wondering how I was going to make it. Blogging and writing books because it was all I had, all that would listen to me. I have cried myself to sleep numerous of nights because those who I counted on could not see how their ways affected me. But, I kept going! I have had friends that once supported me bad mouth me and wish bad on me. Friends who I’ve gone broke for, held their hands when they’ve cried, turned their backs on me. I have felt alone, I have lost all hope, I have wondered how I am going to pay this bill and publish this book. I have wondered all of this and God STILL made a way. I stopped caring what they said and what they thought and I just did it. It is a kick in the gut when you’re working your ass off to give back to others and everyday someone you love rejects you or tries to tear you down. Women who you once supported constantly trying to break you because they knew the weak you, the hurt you, but couldn’t stand to see you make it out. Feeling as if your own family doesn’t want the best for you or love you as much as they should. But baby, this is NOT about me, this about the women who I dream to inspire. This is about me knowing that there is a story of pain, tears and triumph behind my glory. People see the glory, your highs and don’t understand the half of what you’ve gone through and wouldn’t last a day in your shoes. This isn’t about money, being famous or accolades, I’ve worked my ass off since the age of 15 so I know how to make a dollar outside of writing. This is about lifting women up, this about being the woman who I did not have growing up. This is about unity, empowerment, this is about LOVE. I know my destiny and my hearts desires will collide as time moves forward. I truly believe in my heart that my work will lead me somewhere that I could never imagine. Where that place is I currently do not know. I just know when I do make it; it’ll be me and thousands of other women that support me who made it with me. So I will keep fighting, I will keep writing and I will not be afraid to tell my story. I fell silent out of fear of hurting people from sharing my story. But, it is important that people know the pain that they’ve caused me. It’s important for everyone to know that they may have caused me pain, self-doubt, left me alone, but no matter what they did it shaped me before it succeeded in breaking me. My only advice to all of you is, do not be broken, be shaped and be molded. Keep going. Keeping fighting and know that it is ok to cry along the way. God is making a way, God will make a way, God has made a way.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.

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7 thoughts on “God Will Make A Way

  1. Yesss gurl YESSSSS!!!!! I am so proud of you… YOU WILL MAKE IT.. YOU ARE ALREADY THERE.. BELIEVE IT. LIVE IT.. BE IT.. NOW IT.. !!!!! (((((((HUGS TO YOU))))))))

    1. Thank you so so so much. I dont think we appreciate how rewarding it is to hear I am proud of you. I do not take your words lightly for they are blessings. Thank you sending blessings your way xoxo 🙂

  2. Such a beautiful post! I must say that you are truly an inspiration to me! It’s amazing to read your post and feel exactly what you’ve felt in the past. You said “I am that woman who isn’t satisfied until she is giving a piece of her heart to others” which describes me perfectly. I’ve always had a passion for helping but it has left me so broken too many times in my life. I’m learning to accept everything that life brings and I’m praying close attention to every I learn with the hopes of one day using it all to inspire. Thanks so much for sharing. Keep inspiring! And trust God through it all. It’ll come together according to His plan and His will.

    1. Thank you soooo so much. I hope that you’re aware of how inspiring it is to hear that I am an inspiration to you. Your kind words aren’t in vain. I have learned that we love people according to God, and although we may end up hurt or feel short changed we are sewing seeds. Creating good Karma and doing God’s work never goes out of style. Keep being exactly who you are and do not change that for anyone. I want to personally thank you for your post “Leaving closed doors closed.” I went through a terrible break up this year and it is post like your that remind me that God was shielding me or protecting me from the unforeseen. I valued your words in that post, so much so I cried reading. Thank you for your support and it is a blessing that through our words we can be a blessing to each other. God is opening up doors for you and blessing you more than you may know. xoxo -Amber

  3. Hunnay! Yes! You had me clapping girrrl. I loved this post. You just keep swimming and doing your thing and it will pay off. Don’t even pay attention to those naysayers because they not in the game. They are sitting on the sidelines watching. You will get there! And one day, I am going to be in my kitchen and I’m going to turn on the t.v. and I’ll see you talking about your books. Go head girl. You got this!!!!

    I loved this:

    But baby, this is NOT about me, this about the women who I dream to inspire. This is about me knowing that there is a story of pain, tears and triumph behind my glory. People see the glory, your highs and don’t understand the half of what you’ve gone through and wouldn’t last a day in your shoes.

    Yes!!!

    1. I am just now seeing your comment. I want to thank you so much for always being so supportive and rooting for me. I truly believe that God has plans for me and my life as an author, thank you for seeing my vision and believing in it as much as I do. I can’t tell you how inspiring you are. I really would love to be just as committed as you to learning another language. Your blog post are always so informative and you overall as a woman are very inspiring. I pray that you continue to flourish, and you will forever and always have my support.

      Thank you. xoxo

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