As a blogger and a writer I feel as though it’s my job to stay current and remain connected with social media. But, this shit can become draining real quick. I can be reading a good book and the habit of scrolling my news feed randomly kicks in. How annoying is that? I’ve really been working on not consuming my days so much with the world around me. I really want to get back into focusing more on my inner spirit and just enjoying me while doing what I love. When we are consumed by what is going on around us we seem to get lost and time slowly but surely passes us by. You ever feel like the rest of us are in full speed mode getting shit done and you’re clocking their hours forcing yourself to keep up? It’s crazy! The outside world becomes far more of an influence than we’d ever want it to. On our life journey it becomes our job to not compare the path we’re on to others, focus is key.
While engaging in a twitter discussion one day with a fellow writer, I realized how much unnecessary pressure I have been putting on myself lately. We had a discussion on how all writers paths aren’t always the same. In a post I shared a few weeks ago titled, Are My Dreams Invalid Because I am equally Passionate About Them All, I spoke on my frustrations with balancing my career and being a writer. I knew as a child that I possessed a rare love for creativity. Growing up I honestly felt like there was nothing that I could not do. Shamelessly, as an adult that perception of me being able to do anything I put my mind to has shattered a bit. More and more I have been made to feel like I need to focus on one thing. I do believe it has a lot to do with becoming an adult and feeling like instantaneous success is an obligation. The new generation has a way of making us feeling as though all of our hard work is going unaccounted for. If we don’t have things to show off then we obviously aren’t living. Often we’re left feeling like it should be easier to touch success and reach the skies. A concept I think is bullshit! All things worth having are certainly worth being patient for. More and more every day I feel less inclined to rush my journey. I can move at my own pace, write how I feel and when I feel. After all, life is not a race, right?
I am learning that my path is my path and my pace is simply my pace, it all belongs to me. There are days when I am feeling like this is all going to work because God says it is going to. And then there are days when I feel completely helpless, I nearly am in fear that this is as good as it gets. Our doubts and fears are working against God more than they are working with him. Speak positivity and think thoughts of advancement not defeat. Last month I had the pleasure of announcing and celebrating one of my proudest moments to date, my feature in Marie Claire magazine. Being featured in the magazine had completely consumed my life last month. My co-worker told me “Girl, you aren’t going to last here long, you have so many amazing things going on in your life outside of work.” The only thing I could say to her was, “What if this is it? What if my life stops exactly where it is?” She told me that, that’ll only happen if I allow it to happen. That’s the reality of life, we attract what we believe in. if we are constantly focusing on what’s going on around us and not centered on what’s going on in front of us we lose sight. We feel hopeless, like life dealt us the wrong cards and everybody is moving upward but you. Defeat will only succeed in your life if you allow it to.
I now see that the more committed I got to be a writer; the more I was comparing myself as a writer to everyone around me. I had to be doing more based on the fact that it was what I was seeing going on around me. I felt unsuccessful or unaccomplished basing my life and work ethic off of others. For a long time I wasn’t producing what I should have been all because I’ve was far too focused on what’s going on around me. The quickest way to lose is to assume you’re losing if you aren’t working the way others are working. I took a step back for a while. I needed to really remember why I chose to share my writing with the world. As a little girl I’ve always known who I was. Knowing who I was and exactly what I wanted has always given me an advantage. I’ve never been a follower in 20 something odd years, so why in the hell was I starting now? Every writers dream isn’t always the same. I’ve discovered that realization as my connections with other writers and authors have continued to grow over time.
I have been completely ignoring the fact that I’ve spent all of 2013 and the first half of 2014 completely 3 books. I am not obligated to go the same pace as other writers. I recently took a year off of working a day job. The sole purpose of that was to fully complete and publish my work, yet and still I was a nervous wreck feeling like it all isn’t enough. Success begins when we learn the value of what it truly is. Our lives become celebratory when we see the success in just how far we’ve come. Success isn’t always about the end result, it’s more about the journey and how we continue to stay in the race no matter how tough the road gets. I’ve been praying and working on myself internally forever. As I am starting to see a change in myself and embrace my progress, I see the vision ahead. I talk to God more than I ever have before. I listen to myself and the things that my soul is craving. I can have it all and will have it all, but it’ll all happen with time. There are a few internal issues that I need to iron out before I am ready to step into my blessings, starting with not comparing my life journey with others. I will not be blessed in this now life to live lavishly. God will bless me to be a blessing to others and I am completely satisfied with that. My words have touched hearts and lives, not only is that a blessing to me, but it’s a blessing to everyone who takes the time out to read my work.
Each day of our lives on earth is a learning process. I am committed to being the success I know I am called to be. I am slowing my pace and riding the waves of my journey on my own terms. I am reshaping myself internally so that I can rejoice and celebrate those who reach milestones in their career. I don’t want to beat myself down feeling like I am not pushing forward by the sight of someone else’s achievements. It’s almost underhanded hate, or disguised jealousy to not celebrate someone else’s strides in life. I refuse to be that woman. I thrive to live patiently. I thrive to not strengthen my work ethic based on the people around me. I actually thoroughly enjoy coming home, kicking my feet up and reading other writers work and not feeling like I have to force myself to sit behind a screen to feel productive. I’ve simply been living. While living I’ve noticed that the less I force the more it all just works itself out and falls into place. I focus on living. When I do so, creating comes naturally. I don’t want to out work anyone, but the woman I was yesterday. We press forward with less stress when we see our own paths focusing less on comparing them to the paths of our brothers and sisters.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.