As I sit eating a sour dough bagel, drinking sparkling apple juice, banging away at my keyboard as a Law and Order SVU marathon distracts me, I feel pretty positive about how I kicked off my New Year. I feel as if I started off 2015 on a pretty good foot. Aside from fresh eyebrows, nails and a pedicure, I started my first day of 2015 with a Starbucks run. Lawd knows that Starbucks will make it into every year with me. I also dedicated January 1st to re-creating my living space and changing my linens on my bed. I bought new pictures to hang on my walls that are adorned with positive affirmations on them. I even bought new candles so that new aromas would remind me of New Beginnings. When I sleep I feel so much at peace. Dedicating time creating new things for the blog and writing new stories and books has also served me well these past few days. Long story short, I took my first few days of the New Year very seriously.It was all about me shaping and molding me and the things around me to fit the idea of what I see ahead. I wanted to start on a brand new foot with all new everything. It honestly worked. I don’t feel any traces of last year as I walk through my home. I feel like myself, but I also feel less confined to negative emotions. I feel free. Cliché I know, but tis is true. As I started working on my vision board (which is still incomplete) I couldn’t decide what is currently missing from it. I sat staring at what was already plastered on my board for hours, but a part of me felt like there was a piece of my life that I was either leaving out or I had yet to explore. That led me to thinking, is California truly where I see myself in the next 3-5 years? Do I really want to attempt to make a way out of my “New Normal” here in sunny California?
Don’t get me wrong, I love waking up here. I’ve been here my entire life. Nothing truly compares to the feeling of traveling and my plane landing right back at SFO after a long vacay. The problem is just that, I have been here my ENITIRE life. I can travel as much as I want (which I have.) But, I’ve never really had a fresh start in a brand new state. I am truly torn. I love California and the great life it’s afforded me over the years, but I also feeling like staying confined here I could possibly missing out on connecting the dots on this thing I call my life. I could also very well be miles away from my future husband, but that’s another story hehe. I tried to figure out why on earth I am feeling less and less of connection to this place I call home. But, I feel like the East Coast has been calling me for quite some time. I feel such a connection whenever I travel there. It’s crazy that I started off the New Year feeling like it’s time for a new home. While I am not much of fan of subways, climate change and large amounts of people, I can’t ignore what I’ve been feeling. I can’t help but think, is it time for me to break away from what I’ve always known? I have plenty of friends all over the states, but mainly on the East Coast. If they had it their way I’d be moving tomorrow. I guess time will only tell where I am truly meant to be. For now I will continue to build where I am and let the chips fall wherever they may. It still doesn’t change the fact that I feel like life is calling me to make a change.
I guess as time guides me I will be able to bask in the moments and accept whatever the universe decides to deliver. I could have moved a long time ago, but I don’t quite think I was ready to handle that responsibility yet. I’ve had a lot of growing to do. As I prepare myself and continue to grow, I know that my present thoughts are only a part of my growth. I plan to travel out to the East Coast to visit all of my friends soon. In the meantime I am going to concentrate on building where I am presently and continuing to make 2015 a year of progression and success. I’d love to hear how you all spent the first few days of 2015. Feel free to chime in, in the comment section below.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.