Let’s face it, breakups are the worst. Some aren’t as easy as others. There’s tears, anger and learning to live without someone we’ve grown to love. If he’s lucky enough we let him live and don’t cut his brake lines, hehe. When some of you reach out to me I really appreciate the openness about your love lives. Some things are easy for me to give advice on and others, I am just like “Baby, I am still working through it, contact me in 6 months.”
How Long Should I Stay Single After A Breakup?
The above question was one of which I needed time to figure out my damn self. I’ve gotten that question so much and I honestly could not give a real answer. I was lost in the fog, I didn’t know at all. Can’t really provide an answer to something you’re presently experiencing. Going through a breakup not too long ago really changed my life. I’ve only had two other serious relationships and although they didn’t work out I never felt as if I had lost a huge chunk of me afterward. This past breakup had me feeling all sorts of ways and maybe it’s the magnitude of the relationship or simply what went on within the time you two were together that changes how you react when it’s over. Thankfully, I walked out bruised, but never broken.
My best advice is to stay single as long as you can after a breakup!!!
I say that with confidence. I can recall being so caught up in not wanting to be alone and I soon realized that not giving myself time to breathe was doing it all wrong. This time around I did exactly what was necessary, I let myself breathe. I had the opportunity to allow myself to feel as long as I needed to. I ignored people calls and emails. I cut my eyes or cursed out anybody who tried to force me to move on before I was ready. You all have that one person who will always tell you, “You need to just let it go.” Girl, Bye! I turned down any offers to go out on dates. Sounds crazy, but how would I differentiate if I really liked a guy or if he was just a space filler to help me cope with my heartbreak? I lost a love, but fell deeper in love with myself and writing. I had to learn me all over again. I wrote as much as I could as long as I could. A lot of days, the words that poured directly from my soul taught me new things about the woman I was becoming. It also taught me a lot about the woman I was happy to leave behind. I wrote my best work while feeling like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I listened to John Legend almost everyday. Some days it made me cry, most days it made me smile imagining the love that awaits me in the near future. I had to know who I was without a counterpart. I had to know what it felt like to not have someone to check up on and go out with every Friday night. It sucked, but it was my reality. I would rather detox my life and get rid of it all naturally than live in denial or move on too soon and not really deal with the loss of the relationship.
The reality is, love and relationships when you’re young is like life when all we knew was car phones. The shit is hard! We almost never get it right the first time (In my case the 2nd or 3rd LOL.) But it’s all good, I am totally okay with that. What I have learned is, no matter what went wrong, I still have the chance to do it right alone opposed to being coupled up. I am proud that I’ve taken this time to reconnect with numero uno. I truly enjoy flying solo and rebuilding with myself. There are moments when we give far too much of ourselves to people and situations. Because of desire to give more than we should it takes way more time to rebuild that relationship with yourself. I felt like I had to regain my own trust, as crazy as that may sound. I know that I won’t be single forever, so why not invest the time I am single into what really matters so I am for real ready when the time is right? Don’t let a breakup be the reason you stop connecting with yourself. Stay single as long as you can. Stay single until you feel as if you can trust yourself enough to be attached to someone and not feed their soul more than you feed your own. Live freely. Love you first. Be single until you get it right with you. If you ain’t right alone you’ll never get it right with someone else.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.