I realized just how successful I truly am. I am living in the most Devine moments of life. Living in my purpose and treading with destiny. This is what success feels like and it is only subject to blossom more. I don’t remember when I fell in love with writing. All I remember is that it was something that I’ve always done. I remember not paying attention in science class because perfecting my poetry was more important. I remember getting my book of poetry by Tupac confiscated in math class. I remember English forever being my favorite subject every year I attended school. I was never late to English and always the last one to leave. Writing to me was more than something I knew how to do, it was how I released what was trapped within. Writing was how I listened attentively to myself. There were days when I’d be in an immense amount of pain, but had no idea how to assess my feelings. My ability to express how I felt on paper allowed me to understand who I was and what I was suffering through. I was sitting on the phone with my good friend Soleil and she said to me “You’re always writing.” I thought about it and it’s in fact the truth.
At a young age I discovered that my writing was far more than I thought it was, but one day I gave up on it. I felt like it made me unacceptable or uncool. I spent many years trying to be someone I was not. In those years I dealt with so much heart ache and pain. At the time I was completely unaware that my painful situations would later become material for multiple books. I never saw myself putting all of what I’ve been through into words for the world to read, but it is just how my life unfolded. When I got my first email about how me sharing my stories on my blog inspired someone else I knew that this what I had been called to do. I still see my 12 year old self, sitting in science class pretending I was working, but I was really writing poems. I would have made so many different choices had I had known then that, that same 12 year old girl would still be writing til’ this day. So maybe it was meant for me to lose myself a little bit. Maybe it was meant for me to not see any real significance in being a creative. Because without losing site of the vision I would not have any material to feed my vision today.
I say all of that to say, be intentional about your purpose in life. Don’t just live life based on what you think looks good or is acceptable. I will be honest, every year I lived trying to mask who I truly was I was miserable. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going all because I refused to be intentional about my life. I refused to be guided by what my soul craved for. I was too busy trying to please others that I was starving myself. I will tell you two things that kill us, our lack of passion and our eagerness. Every day I pick up a pen or my fingers touch a keyboard it is because I am passionate about it. I do not force people to buy my books and I am not offended when people laugh because I am not an author who’s well known. I write because I love it and it is all I know. So whether it is 4 people or 4 million people who purchase my published work, I continue to put out bodies of work because it is who I am. This is what I live and breathe. It’s not about the money or how many views my blog gets, it’s about sharing my experiences in hopes to heal that broken heart that chooses to read. We get so eager to have money and have our names plastered on something that we do not put any real effort or initiative into the things we do. Most people never stick to anything long enough to master it.
This is why it is so important to find passion in the things that you do. Before you know it, you’re jumping from thing to thing calling it your purpose, but you are so eager for results that you can’t sit still long enough to see if what you’re investing in is really for you. Think about all of the things you’ve given up on in life because it wasn’t what you thought it would be when you expected it to be. Whatever came to mind, you weren’t passionate about it. No matter what I thought to do, how many ideas formulated I always came to my senses and knew to stick to what I know. I’ve always stayed down with what I am passionate about. I understand that this one great gift will lead to a multitude of many other things as long as I stay focused and master it. I wanted to be committed to something real, something that not just served my soul, but the souls of people across the globe. When we are in search of material gain, financial gain, accolades and status we lose sight of what we are working toward. We are eager to reach some superficial goal instead of being content, being passionate and living in life’s greatest moments while doing what we love. My only advice to you is to be intentional about life. Be so got damn passionate you make other people passionate. Don’t just seek what can be replaced. Seek what will forever be embedded in your heart, mind and soul. Seek the shit that you can create, but you or others can’t live without. Create a legacy, build a vision on solid foundation so it will forever stand tall. You know why I am so passionate about writing? Because without it, I’d probably have taken my own life years ago. It is what saved me from myself. I don’t take my pain out on me anymore, I take it out on the pen and pad and let it live on the page. It became my healing and when I feel strong enough to publish it to the world, it becomes someone else’s healing. That is why I am so damn passionate. I will never stop writing. I will never stop creating. I will be able to share my craft with my children one day and write stories tailor made specifically for them. There will be a day that I no longer walk this earth, but my words will forever live on. Be passionate and intentional about what you invest your time into. You only have one to live, and if you do it right, one time is all you need.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.