-(Psalm 71:6 NIV)
Twenty five in a few words?
Heartbreak, self-discovery, self-love, books, career, depression, fear, overcoming, happy.
I always thought that by the time I turned twenty five life wouldn’t be as hard as it has been. I expected to be settled in a perfect space career wise, well with life in general. I thought that things would just flow. I’ve learned the hard way that life is never how we imagine it to be. There will always be obstacles that come along to strengthen us. I actually run far from settled lifestyles at this point. I now desire the unfamiliar, extraordinary and unpredictable.
I remember sitting at the head of the table during dinner on my 25th birthday thinking, “All you have to do is make it through the night.” I honestly just wanted to hit the road that day and not celebrate at all. I wanted to be alone. When pain was my biggest accomplishment I felt that my celebratory state was void. I now know that not to be true. For God is the giver of life, and through pain, happiness and hardship I will praise him through every open door in life. And if the door is not yet open, I praise him in the hallway.
Today I woke up and watched the sunrise. I opted out of coffee and had tea for once. I thought about the beauty of today and smiled. You learn to appreciate everything in arms reach when you can reflect on times that could have very well claimed your life.
A lot of shit happened at 25 that I wish I could never relive or think about again. Heartbreak was ROUGH. Finding the courage to forgive in order to move forward, was tougher than I thought it would be. Finally finding my way into a position that I love after endless job hunting was ROUGHER than heartbreak itself. But, I pulled through gracefully. It was almost as if this year full of find me’s. What I mean by that is, this year was the year I found myself. Like one half of me was frantically searching, while the other half was screaming to be found.
Actively still searching and growing, I am not the woman I was on this day one year ago. I am so much more stronger and wiser. At a young age I’ve always had a clear depiction of who I was. I have always been pretty sure of myself. I was always adamant on what I wanted and what I did not want, but we can never stop learning who we truly are.
I feel as though twenty five. was the year I got to the depth of me. The universe made it extremely hard for me to not love every bit of the woman I am. There were parts of me I had to embrace, habits I had to let go of and toxic ways I had to release. I learned to forgive me for all that I had put myself through and just live.
For the very first time in all my life I saw the true essence having a strong relationship with myself. Twenty five, I cracked deep at the surface. I hit a true breaking point and nobody was there for me the way I was there for me. And still God held me tight, offered me his strength and never allowed me to give up on me.
There were nights when I cried pleading to him and he comforted me in those times, for his love and mercy I am forever grateful. So many eye opening experiences have come into my life. I smile thinking that where I was does not compare to where I stand now.
I’ve met so many amazing people and for the first time in my adult life I feel as if I have real friends. Pretty much everything I have prayed for I have been rewarded with. I still have high hopes that more great things will unfold. I have the rest of my life for all of my dreams to come to fruition.
Twenty six will be the start of the best years of my life. I’ve put this in the atmosphere. I claim spiritual enlightenment, growth, prosperity in every aspect of my life and continued peace. What is yesterday is yesterday. What is tomorrow is tomorrow and we will never know until we get there. This is now! Now for me represents the chances I have to take advantage of all that life has to offer.
I celebrate life today and everyday. I look forward to all that there is to come. As life continues to unfold I embrace what comes my way. This past year left a dark fog over my life and I’ve finally just begun to see the light. I step out of the fog into the light I know that where I am headed I can’t fathom. All I know is it’s more than I can imagine. So here’s to another year of life. The chance to get things so wrong that they become right. The opportunity to run with my blessings and never look back. Here’s to endless friendships, new love, Devine love, everlasting love. Here’s to you, for trusting my pain to serve you purpose. And, here’s to me, for being the heroine of my life, the master of my abilities, the Queen of my empire. Here’s to twenty six!!!!
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.