“Why should you worry about the future? You don’t even know the present properly. Take care of the present, and the future will take care of itself.” – Ramana Maharshi
Finding the capacity in your heart to love again is never easy. After betrayals and let downs love seems so unmanageable. We fight ourselves to surrender to our emotions and let new, potential mate’s in. The thought of being betrayed ever again is forever embedded in your mind. So, you forever remain closed off to the idea that it’s possible to receive the love that you’ve always desire. There are times when love seems hopeless. And in a world of not so many options you feel lost. I too know what it feels like to feel suffocated by your past. To be taunted by old feelings and crippled by past situations.
I’ve realized the more unsuccessful attempts I’ve had loving others the more I grew to love myself. Sometimes it takes true heartbreak to gain a sense of awareness about who you are deep within. It’s very possible that we spend decades connecting to others in hopes to fill the empty portions of us instead of committing to wholeness before seeking a relationship. It’s not always the people that we choose to love who disappoint us, sometimes we are great at disappointing ourselves. The key to life is to know that there will always be unsuccessful attempts in all that you do. It is the obstacles that you continue to cross over, no matter how much it hurts that matters.
To define the future of love by all the people that have done you wrong in the past is setting yourself up for failure. To change the way you treat others based on how others once treated you is proof you’ve yet to mature. Finding the capacity to love again, fruitfully is possible, but it takes commitment. It takes courage. It takes fearlessness.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” -1 John 4:18
Approach New Love As If You’ve Never Been Hurt Before. Everyone isn’t the same. And not everyone we encounter has the same intentions. Love is a beautiful thing when it’s done right. You can never experience what you live in fear of.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23
Protect Your heart. Not everyone we encounter is worth discovering of all of who we are. Our hearts are sacred and should always be treated as such. We can never expect others to protect and appreciate what we don’t. Trust your instincts. Always follow your intuition. Our instincts will tell us our hearts are in danger long before someone’s actions will. Guard what gives you life, which is your heart.
Love yourself, focus on you and being whole. What we find most beautiful about ourselves is often the first thing that others notice. How we feel about ourselves is always projected in how we carry ourselves. Even when you THINK you’re looking confident, if you don’t truly feel it, it shows. You have to know you well enough so that it’s easy to detect what you want and what you don’t want. Find the most delicate parts of you and love on them. Learn to live with you, that’s the challenge, not clinging to someone else to pick up where you lack.
Don’t Rush. Be Wise. And Never Look Back. When we aren’t in a rush to reach a goal or to achieve something we tend to make fewer mistakes. It’s the same with love. When you take the time to properly asses what went wrong in the past it’s easy to spot the same situation even when it’s dressed differently. Take time to properly heal. It’s nothing worse than carrying on baggage from an old flame and giving it to someone new to unpack. Make sure you are truly aware of your emotions and how to deal with them. Are you an effective communicator or not? Don’t look back in old places expecting new things to come of them? It’s a reason why it ended. Not everyone we lose is a loss. For it is better to lose unhealthy things, than lose ourselves for the sake of keep the unhealthy things around.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.