Self-Love Sunday: Date Yourself

“It is so liberating to really know what I want, what truly makes me happy, what I will not tolerate. I have learned that it is no one else’s job to take care of me but me.” – Beyoncé

At this point in my life, every day I find something new to love about me. There was once a time when I went seeking validation from everything and everyone except the person who mattered most, me. I knew that if I wanted to feel good all the time and not just sometimes I had to learn to like me. No really, I mean REALLY like me. We can often pretend that we are 100% content with who we are but pretending only gets us so far. Until you’re truly comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you’re attaching yourself to others genuinely or simply because you’re lonely.IMG_1052

“How you gone win when you ain’t right within?” – Lauryn Hill

The focus should always been loving yourself inside out. It’s important for us to learn to date ourselves. You’re never too old to learn new things about who you really are. Being alone is just a status, while being lonely is a state of being miserable with who you’re with. Even if the person you’re with is yourself. Don’t be fooled into thinking that you can’t be alone and have a great time. You have to be willing to take yourself out to eat or go and see that new movie alone. If you’re waiting around for a man to make you feel whole you’ll be waiting a lifetime. Concentrate on building a strong connection with you so that you never feel like you need anyone around to make you feel joy or at peace.

This past Monday I decided to take myself on an ultimate date. I normally go out to eat alone or movies etc. but this one was a bit different. I love basketball. I love even more to attend the games. I have always gone to several games a season with my girlfriends or family. The Goldenstate Warriors have been having an incredible season this year and I hadn’t been to not one single game. It was completely unlike me, but I knew that I was dreading attending because it brought back too many memories. I would frequently attend the games while I was in my most recent relationship, but after we parted ways I stood clear of anything that reminded me of the time we spent. I felt silly not doing the things that I love because it was something I once shared with someone who’s out of the picture. So I swallowed my pride, faced my fears and went to see my favorite team play in the 2015 playoffs. Date night felt good. I felt confident and I also went to bed that night feeling liberated and free. I stopped depriving myself of what I deserved and knew I could give myself. I never really needed what I thought I needed in the first place. I gave myself what someone else lacked the capacity to give me. IMG_1058

You have to date yourself. You have to know what it feels like to be out and about, enjoying all that you love all by your lonesome. You must learn to embrace you, but trust that being alone isn’t an eternal thing. When we develop the strength to be authentically “us” while alone, that authenticity makes us better when we finally find “the one.” Even when you’re in a happily committed relationship, never stop dating yourself. Never stop desiring alone time to get to know you better and love you more. It is what we learn about us in our relationship with ourselves that ultimately sets the foundation for our relationship with others. Here’s to happily committed relationships with ourselves!

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.IMG_1059IMG_1056FullSizeRender (25)


7 thoughts on “Self-Love Sunday: Date Yourself

    1. Mariam I used to feel the same. I once would go out to eat or to the movies and feel as though everyone was watching me and was passing judgment. I think when we get over our fears it becomes easier. Start small. Go out to little places alone such as Starbucks etc. any where you can spend over 10 mins alone sitting in the presence of others. Do you it until you truly feel content in that space chilling alone, but surrounded by others. Once you master that, try an earlier dinner alone a few times. Sit at the bar the first couple of times so you aren’t as uncomfortable. When you do get comfortable, move to a table for one. Baby steps will get you there. I’m totally here for all the support you need. Xoxo

  1. This is awesome. You look genuinely happy in your pictures, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself! I can relate to this so much. I live in South Korea and took a trip to Seoul last weekend. The only thing was, my friends were busy during the day so I had to figure out what to do by myself for 8 hours in a city I had only been two once before! I was really scared of looking like a lonely loser or feeling awkward but it turned out to be an amazing day. Learning to enjoy your own company is major.

    — Mel //

    1. Hi Melody,

      Thank you so much for reading and your kind words. How is living in South Korea? I’m sure that is amazing. How long have you been living there? I’m glad you had a great time and experience in Seoul last week. I’m sure it was beautiful. Getting out alone and enjoying ourselves is key in life. May we value the time we have to do just that and do it more often. 🙂

  2. I don’t mind being alone AT ALL. There are times I wish I had company but not all the time. My first internship was in D.C. and every weekend I was out in the city exploring. Going to museums, going to the park, going out to eat just by my lonesome and it was great. Big city + small girl = memories. There is nothing wrong with enjoying solo time and it doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely at all.

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