Self-Love Sunday: Why You Can’t Love Anyone Unless You Love Yourself

“Love yourself girl, or nobody will.” – J. Cole


In this generation it’s hard to love someone as a significant other, but it’s even harder to love yourself before entering into a relationship. Loving you, accepting you and being content with you all act as the foundation of having a healthy love life.

It’s simple when you look at it on the outside, but deep down it’s so hard to truly understand in order to prosper. Simply put, if you don’t love yourself first it’ll show through in your actions towards that special person, ultimately sealing the fate to your relationship. It may not be tomorrow or next week, but eventually the unloved self within you will manifest and begin to drive a wedge in your happily ever after. It’s odd to think this would happen since you’re “happy”, but the truth of the matter is if you’re fooling yourself into believing you’re loved and content when you’re really not, it will be evident at some point.

Take for example the infamous insecurities. Everyone has them, but many learn to love the things that make them insecure because they may not be able to change them. Hiding those bads away from past experiences will only bring them to light in future ones. As women, I think it’s safe to say we all have bads we want to bury, but the most efficient way to carry on in life is to love everything about you. The bads, the bad past relationships, the bad experiences, the physical features, etc., because they are YOU. No matter what you’ve been through or what you’ve seen, it all helped grow you as a person.

Now even though I don’t necessarily want to bring it up, the last thing I want to touch on is the unavoidable social media of the world that has such an influence on women of my generation specifically. Do not fall prey to the hype of social media with drop dead gorgeous model women who are so happy and love their daily lives, because you have no idea what their lives really entail. These people we look up to in the media are humans just like us and deal with things just like us from depression to anxiety and even self-confidence. Wanting to be like someone else or even wanting your relationship to be like someone else’s won’t improve what you have right in front of you. That’s because I’m not Beyoncé with one of the largest fan bases worldwide and my man isn’t Jay Z with a trillion dollars; we’re just college students pursuing degrees and trying to enjoy life day by day. Holding myself to her standards and holding my relationship expectations to hers would just create an imbalance that’s not fair to myself or my significant other. Loving where I’m at with my life makes every day with him amazing and I know that it can make you appreciate your days even more.


Tune out the world, reflect on yourself and love who you are…because you are worth it.



Victoria Mason is the author and founder of the fashion and beauty blog She showcases inexpensive fashion and beauty finds that will make your look drop dead gorgeous! Be sure to stop by to take a look at her blog and to learn more about this fashionista!



3 thoughts on “Self-Love Sunday: Why You Can’t Love Anyone Unless You Love Yourself

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