Can you believe that we are less than 24 hours away from July? I’m looking back on this month like, “girl, you rock.” I set a few goals and I successfully achieved them. We all know that my biggest goal set was “The Man Fast.” I took you all on a month long journey of me deciding to cut the men in my life out for the sake of clarity. I walked into this journey completely unaware of how things would play out. I didn’t know if I would fail or succeed. The first few days were awkwardly uncomfortable and confusing. I found myself reaching out to others seeking advice or confirmation that I was doing the right thing. My first HUGE mistake.
When we choose to do something in life for the sake of being a better us, whatever we choose to do is simply about US! Feeling the need to seek validation or confirmation from others is proof that you aren’t as confident in your choice as you should be. I acknowledged my mistake, took accountability for it and kept it pushing. By the third week in I felt completely comfortable in what I had chosen to do. I was content with me, being alone or sharing my progress with friends. One Friday afternoon at brunch I was sharing my journey with a friend. We laughed about how I may have had to curse a few guys out that didn’t respect my request for space in the beginning of my fast. I also took the time to reflect on what I learned. Here are a few things:
This Fast Had Absolutely Nothing To Do With Men At All:
Bizarre, I know, but it is very much true. I realized that part way through the process that I just really wanted to be alone for a change. It had nothing to do with men, but everything to do with leveling up spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I spent more time with God this month than I have since the year began. I think he wanted me to spend 21 days creating a habit of not letting anyone distract me from spending time with Him and it worked. Look at God!
I Felt More Confident and Attractive:
When I stepped out, I stepped out feeling brand new! I felt more confident when I went out into the world because I knew there were no intentions behind it, none other than to look and feel incredibly amazing. Often times we go out we have the idea that there may be a slight chance we’ll run into our future “Bae.” Because of this ideology, we spend a little more time on our appearance to make sure we look great. I was surer of myself when I wasn’t doing it for the men. I was more confident knowing that I am just here to look good and have a good time so please guys, don’t talk to me. It felt good!
A Man Not Noticing You Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Awesome:
For the first time in a long time I didn’t care about being overlooked. I learned that men who aren’t on the same wave length spiritually have a hard time seeing you. It could also very well be that they see you, but know that they can’t treat you any old kind of way so they keep it pushing. Sometimes I wasn’t even glanced at, it was okay because for one I wasn’t looking and for two, the last thing I needed was someone who doesn’t meet my standards all in my face wasting my time.
I Don’t Have To Commit To Restrictions To Prove Anything To Myself:
I feel like I walked into this wanting to prove to me I was capable of pulling this off. I realized a few weeks in that nobody cares if I finished it or not. The overall goal is personal growth, spiritually and mentally. As long as I am committed to the right things and not being distracted from the wrong things, life is grand.
There Will Be Plenty Who Want To Love You:
My friend Adereni told me at brunch to be sure I am not closing myself off. I had to think long and hard about that because as much as I wanted to do right by this fast, I could also be blocking my blessing. I made sure to know that I am not hung up on keeping anyone around, nor am I pressed to meet someone, but if he comes I am readily available. I truly believe that no commitment or fast can stand in between what is written.
I chose to walk in faith and lean not on my own understandings for an entire month. When something felt wrong, I prayed and released it. When something felt right, I prayed and waited on God for answers. I smile as I write this knowing that I feel far more complete with myself than I did before. I walked into this praying for strength. I walked out feeling whole and anew. I know that what is of my past is left in the past and this journey was the first step to me embracing happiness and all that comes with it in the near future.