Today is merely a day of reflection. On January 1st, 2015, the very first day of my new year was spent redecorating my living space. I bought everything new that you could think of. I want to begin the year fresh. I even shared on the blog How I kicked off 2015. I needed a sense of reassurance that in moving forward I would be okay without all of the things and people I was choosing to leave behind. I felt like I was beginning a new journey. I wanted to transform the way I loved myself. That meant monitoring my personal space and the energies around me. Transforming the way I loved myself meant leaving old habits behind while always putting me first. I had someone how forgotten what it meant to love me. Two years prior to the New Year had drained all of the love out of me that I held deep within. I had lost sight of the value of self-love. I had let the rejection of others teach me that I had no love for me at all. Most people think that it take a life time of emotional, physical or mental damage to ruin one’s self-esteem when in reality it doesn’t take much at all. If we aren’t devoting time to loving us correctly, all it take is one person to tell us we aren’t enough to send us spiraling out of control emotionally.
January 1st, 2015 I found myself in desperate need to remove anything detrimental to the love I had for me. I needed a reminder that I was loved. I need assurance that I was worthy of love. More importantly, I needed to discover that I was fully capable of giving myself all of this love. On the first day of the New Year I placed a portrait over my bed that read “Never forget you are loved.” Every morning I would get out of bed that was the first portrait I laid my eyes on. It was my reminder to never forget that I have love and that I am loved.
According to Dictionary.com, Love is a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. It is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. Love is a sexual passion or desire, a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
Not one time above do they tell us that the root of the things above are the root of the love we have for ourselves. I’ve learned that failed relationships are result of the piss poor love we have for ourselves. How are can one possibly give what they don’t have or have yet to discover how to give to themselves first? It’s almost as if we are taught to love others and things first. When I discovered this was my problem I was in search of a change. I was tired of putting everything and everyone before me. I wanted to know what it felt like to not attach to a situation for the sake of feeling something that I had the power to give me.
Last weekend I went shopping to redecorate yet again. This time I came home and moved that same photo that reminded me to never forget I am loved. While it still remains hanging, it was replaced by a photo that reads “Love is Everything.” Seven months into the year and I wake up feeling as if the love I have for myself is everything. I do not look to others to remind me of my significance on this earth. I do not need to be reminded with love or affection from another to prove to me that I am worthy of it. What we feed ourselves is ultimately what we live with. If we don’t give ourselves love, attention and reassurance we can never expect the same things from someone else to be a healer for us. It may provide temporary fulfillment, but it’ll only last until they decide to change how they feel about you, leaving you feeling stuck, empty, lost.
Life is about reminding you that what you need is with you every day. If you have to spend seven months out of the year searching for what you lost in someone else then so be it. Often what we feel we’ve lost in someone else was never really lost at all. We’ve simply overlooked our own abilities. We’ve ignored our own power and our own strength. In November 2015 at the Life You Want Tour, Oprah said “Real success comes from being connected to your spirit and what’s inside of you.” When we learn that success is determined by who we are and loving everything about it then it creates a shift. Detach from the things that we are taught. Detach from the idea that love is dependent on affection from another living being, sexual desires or anything that doesn’t have to do with you. Work hard internally so that without all of these things you live in peace knowing that your love is everything. Even when you’re alone you’re content because your love has become your everything and it is enough.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.