Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. – Proverbs 4:23
Meeting others and liking them is very much unpredictable. Growing to love those that you take a liking to is just as unpredictable. Proverbs tells us that above all else, guard your heart, for everything flows from it. How often are we living by this scripture? I think in the past my biggest mistake has been wanting for everyone I encounter to feel the way that I feel. I’ve made the mistake of wanting the connections that I make to flow with ease and for others to be just as invested as I am. Now I know better. Our biggest mistake is assuming that if we give more of what we are being given it will somehow draw the other party closer and eventually they’ll feel the same.
“It’s important to make sure your emotional relationship is growing proportionally to your level of commitment.” – Unknown
Over-capacitating in love hoping that eventually the other party involved will feel the same is detrimental. You’re opening up your heart up for potential or possibilities when you should only be letting your guard down for certainty. The past several days I’ve had conversations with others and I openly tell them that I am re-learning how to get to know people. You ever look back on all of the decisions you made in life only to realize that, had you been patient and truly taken the time to get to know the person there’s so much you could have avoided? The only thing worse than loving someone who is emotionally unavailable is loving someone who you only partially know. Guarding your heart begins with not being anxious. Meeting new people is exciting. Whether it be potential friendships or someone you’ve just started dating, having someone new around is always fun.
Being anxious to get to a certain level of connection with someone else means that not only are you not properly guarding your heart, but you’ve now opened up the door to love someone who you hardly know. This is where re-learning to get to know someone comes into play. You have to not be anxious. Pace yourself. Get to know them long enough so you are able to fully understand their intentions. Ask questions about their past so that you’re getting to know and understand their behavioral patterns. The healthiest way to guard your heart is to not fall for what is on the surface because what lies on the surface is always easier to accept than what lies beneath. Moving too fast or becoming too vulnerable too quickly is the gateway to an unguarded heart. Establishing a foundation as well as getting to know others on a friendship level is extremely important before opening your heart to them.
Lack of communication and establishing a clear understand of the intentions of the relationship is also the gateway to an unguarded heart. More often than not we get involved with others and become silent, we lose our voice. We become afraid to have standards, we lack boundaries and our expectations go flying out of the window. We become silenced and all of the red flags that we’d normally cut someone off for we ignore. Why is this? Based on past experiences I believe that it is out of fear of scaring someone away. If having boundaries and standards prompts someone to walk out of your life than they were never for you.
Be anxious for nothing. Re-learn how to get to know the new people you’re allowing into your personal space. Do not just see others for what they show you on the surface, do your own research, gain your own knowledge as to who they are and what they have to offer. Do not be afraid to communicate. Set boundaries. Let people know upfront what will and will not be tolerated. Establish a real connection, focus on a foundation. You cannot be too readily invested to love someone you do not know as a friend FIRST. Falling for them first and becoming their friend second rarely works. Do not be afraid to learn new principles or develop new ways or methods that are beneficial to you protecting yourself emotionally. Be wise in the decisions you make when it comes to investing into someone else emotionally. Pace yourself. Ignore the excitement by being wise and trusting your intuition. And, above all else, guard your heart.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.