“When we recognize who we are meant to be we stop putting so much effort into the person we’ve been pretending to be.” – Amber Janae
I woke up several times this morning before I actually rolled out of my comfortable bed. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and took my daily vitamins. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “You’re alright, girl.” I make an attempt to say something positive to me every morning while looking in the mirror. It just a reassuring thing that I love doing. I am just learning daily to embrace the real me and not a made up watered down version of myself. I don’t know about you all but I would much rather put forth an effort to be the person I am meant to be opposed to a false perception of myself I’ve created to appear acceptable to the world.
The energy and effort it takes to pretend to be something or someone you’re not is just so damn draining. I remember being younger and always feeling like I had to be a certain way or do certain things to be a part of the “crowd” or to “fit in.” I quickly learned that you do not have to do everything like everyone else. There are no rules that say you can’t make some rules of your own. I remember answering interview questions for Marie Claire and I was asked what I thought my best beauty feature was. My answer was of course my confidence. I think a woman who possesses a strong sense of confidence is beautiful in all areas. Although I am 100% confident in who I am now, it wasn’t always this way. Growing up I was what people considered “Skinny.” A word I despise to this very day. I remember wearing layers of clothes trying to hide the fact that my body type wasn’t acceptable to most people. As I got older, I curved out. I am not the slim girl with a small waist and a butt. I remember walking in the office at work with a high waist skirt on and overheard someone discussing why my skirt fit the way that it did. I wanted to respond negatively, but decided that people are never happy and I should not care if they are happy with my body of not. This is how God made me and if others don’t accept that than it really isn’t my problem.
I am confident with who I am despite how others feel or what they think. Grow to understand that your comfortability and confidence radiates all of you. Features that you never thought existed shine when you’re confident and sure about who you are as an individual. I think back to that interview and realize that it’s amazing the things that can be weighing you down emotionally and internally, but your confidence allows you to pick up the pieces and move forward every day. There are days you’d never know I have been dealing with somethings and really going through an emotional healing process. I just let who I was take the floor and not let what was going on take me down. I have grown more and more confident over the years. I am happy, comfortable, and most importantly, confident in the skin that I am in. I am always doing intense soul-searching, digging deep within trying to find more about me that I love. The more things I find about me that I love, the more confident I am/feel. I am always in search of the things that make me truly happy to be me. I used to look in the mirror and frown at what stared back at me. Now when I see my reflection I see a work of art. I see a woman who survived an internal battle with herself, overcame self-hatred, and unapologetically walks with an abundance of confidence and grace. When the people who I love tell me that they want to lose weight or work on changing something about themselves I am the first to ask why. They always assume that my reasoning for that is because I am slim and I have nothing to worry about, but in reality it’s because I’ve been there before. I know what it’s like to so desperately want to change yourself to appease the standards of others or to desire to look a certain way because you’re enviously focused on someone else. Ask yourself this question the next time you’re eagerly trying to change yourself drastically, “Do I want this for me or is it something that I saw in someone else that makes me so eager to want to reach this goal?”
While there are many ways for me to describe myself, perfectly imperfect best suits me most. I am flawed but I am who I am, flaws and all. I am the perfect of expression of heartache turned into happiness, weakness transformed into strength. I am my confidence and my confidence is me. All of the above combined is what makes me uniquely me. Never despise the trials and tribulations in your life that cause you to question your entire being, those are the very things that give you the strength and courage to never question who you are meant to be ever again. I challenge you to do some soul-searching daily. Dig deeply and find the things that you often question about yourself and turn them into things that you love about yourself. A woman who is overly confident can rule the f***king world. Imagine the things that you can accomplish if you let your confidence spill over every day.
It feels good when you walk around proud to be you. You just feel so empowered and so inspired that you begin to trust there is literally nothing in this world you can’t do. When you’re loyal to yourself, trust yourself, you step out into the world and do what you never thought you could just because you’re confident enough to take risk. I noticed that when I feel and treat myself as the Queen that I am, I play the part. I walk into the room and own it, not because I need to feel like I am better than everyone else in the room, but simply because I know who I am and I am damn sure of it. Be certain of who you are, what you have to offer and never question that. When you’re confident in you and what you bring to the table that is how you get all that you desire, because you’re confident enough to believe that you can.