How St. Thomas Helped Me Drown Away My Fears

I left my vacation feeling like a new version of myself. I got off of the plane I stepped into 90 degree weather and instantly let out a sigh of relief. I needed this trip more than anything. I had been struggling so much with keeping my head above water. I shared a post before my departure about the things I was looking forward to in terms of take away’s from the trip. Check out that post HERE. I got all that I prayed for and more. I would have to say my favorite part of my vacation was snorkeling. Being in the water and seeing all of the beautiful fish was so amazing, I can’t swim very well, if at all… I looked around the bottom of the ocean and realized that I had made it out to the center. Every fiber in my body had begun to panic. I looked around to see was there anyone around me and it wasn’t. I stood alone in the ocean. As the beautiful colorful fish swam effortlessly around me I continued to panic. How would I get to shore? Who was around to save me? That was when it hit me, this is my life and it’s either I sink or swim. In that moment I chose to swim. I didn’t know how, but I forced my body back to shore with every stroke of my arms, every kick of my feet, I was closer to shore. When my hands began to touch sand I knew I had arrived. I had reached a point of victory. I had carried myself out of panic into peace.

My swim had suddenly become reminiscent of my life. For so long I looked around to see who was looking. For forever I was in search of someone to be my savior while discrediting my own abilities. I was a fighter and had always been. It just took a moment of not having someone around to take credit for me to find my own strength. I still vividly see my view from the bottom of the ocean. I remember seeing nothing, but coral and fish. I feel the fear creeping up in my chest, but I also feel the peace when my palms touched shore. I see my smile. I feel my proudness of myself. From that point on I felt I had washed away all of my fears or self-doubt. I sat rubbing my hands in the sand watching the calming waves beat up my manicured toes. I looked out into the ocean and saw my friends having the time of their lives. I knew that no matter how much I feared drowning I had trusted God before, so why not once more? I put my gear back on and joined my friends in the middle of the ocean. That day I stopped allowing the fear of what I felt I could never do block me from sharing irreplaceable memories with the ones I love. I made a promise to myself that when I went out again I wouldn’t bring any unwanted feelings back, I would let the clear blue waters wash it all away. That is exactly what occurred. I emerged from the waters anew.

This is my advice to you, when you’re afraid take a leap of faith. Do not let the waves of life convince you that you’re not strong enough to swim through them. When times are tough, turn your back against the current and continue to swim to shore. It is our discovery of our own strengths that gives us the courage to go out into the ocean time and time again to experience the joys of doing what feeds our souls. We have to stop looking for the power in others praying that they’re strong enough to save us. Some days we have to learn to stand on our own two feet and save ourselves. To live is to let go of our doubts and inhibitions. To be at peace means to grow beyond who you think you are, take risk. Set sight on your shore and do not stop swimming until your hands meet the sand. Check out some photos from our amazing vacation below.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed. 

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