One day, many years ago someone cared enough to send me an article on empaths and how not being aware of this trait can be physically and mentally draining. Possessing an innate ability to intuitively perceive another living beings exact emotions is both amazing and frightening for me. My empathy is most effective with the people I love. It is also always on point with those I do not know very well that do not have my best interest at heart.
Living as an empath you’re unconsciously consumed by other people’s energies whether positive or negative. Having empathic abilities is both a gift and a curse. While being able to openly feel what is outside of you in terms of other people’s feelings/emotions, you’re often blind to your own needs and desires. For the most part, empaths hate disharmony and if the energy is off so are we. I am big on protecting my peace and if you’re in support of the disruption of it, I don’t fear cutting you off. A lot of us are living as empaths and don’t know it or worse, we know it but are unaware of effective ways to deal. I wanted to provide you with a few tips to help you live as an empath and not be taken advantage of.
Dedicate the Start of Your Day to You and Only You
I have said this over and over again. I’ve written it in previous blog posts, I’ve done a thread on Snapchat as well as Facebook. I start my morning focusing on me because it helps me to be in control of myself and the tone I set for my day. When I start my morning focusing on myself I am in full alignment with my own personal feelings/emotions. I know that positivity is the tone I wish to set for my day regardless of who or what I interact with throughout the day. This enables me to be of service to others without absorbing their energies or emotions, especially if they’re negative.
Yes, It Is Okay to Demand Better Treatment of Others
For a really long time I lived in fear of demanding better treat from others. I thought that if I vocalized my needs that it would make the person upset or even worse make them want to walk out of my life. As time progressed, I learned that I am in control of my happiness and if others don’t align with that, I have the right to walk away. The more I know myself the more I know when someone isn’t giving me what I need. If they want to do better after I express my concerns, great. If not, they can go. If you’re demanding better treatment and they put up a fight it is a sign that they weren’t all about you to begin with. Remember, you come first. If It no longer serves you, dead it!
Learn to Say No
My biggest problem as an empath is that I strive to make other people happy always. This crazy obsession I have with pleasing others has led me to ignore my own needs. Working “no” into my vocabulary has eliminated a lot of stress and hurt. Learning to say no will help you a whole hell of alot overtime.
People Will Hurt You and That is Okay
When you’re hurt it isn’t the end of the world. A large part of human interaction is discovering that not all interactions are meant to last a lifetime. Some of our deepest connections in this realm is all about emotional strength, deepening the relationship with our true self and developing a greater spiritual connection. What has hurt me has also succeeded in making me stronger and developing me on my journey here. It’s not the end of the world when others cross you. Forgive them because it’s a necessity to live an emotionally healthy, well balanced life, but never forget.
Don’t Force Yourself to Be Social
A problem I used to struggle with. I often feel like being alone with myself. I used to assume that this desire wasn’t normal, so I’d force human interaction and end up miserable. let’s face it, empathy has a very small amount of normalcy. Spending time alone is key for gaining a better understanding of your own emotions and thoughts. Another important thing about socializing is when you are in an environment with others, be social. I often get super anxious in huge crowds and I am always in fear I am being judged or talked about. When you force yourself to interact and be social it keeps your mind off the desire to know other people’s thoughts.
Self/Personal Expression is Necessary
Be creative. Spending time writing down your thoughts and feelings really helps you to better understand yourself and what you’re dealing with. Draw, paint, color. Often times my creativity helps shed light on things that are affecting me emotionally that I didn’t even realize. The more you understand self and you’re comfortable with you, the less the world around you sucks.
You Can’t Save People Who Don’t Wish to Be Saved
The worse trait about us empaths is we over extend ourselves even when we’re being rejected. We try our hardest to be in support of people who clearly want to stay dormant. Trying to save others will actually drain you before it helps them grow past the level that they’re on. Save yourself the struggle and carry on.
Use Your Empathy for What It’s For, Healing
The upside to being able to be in tune to other people’s energies, thoughts and emotions is it enables you to better assist them in healing. A key important factor in helping others heal is you, yourself HAVE to be healed first. Heal yourself before you devote your time to trying to heal others. Nothing worse than offering advice that is derived from unhealed emotions. Neglecting your own need to heal only further stunts your emotional progression. You can’t attempt to help others heal while ignoring your own personal healing.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.
Photo Cred: Tiffany Reid | Senior Fashion Marketing Editor @Cosmopolitan Magazine