Self- Comparison and Why You Need to Let It Go


194377fc463280831a3e7f46032868dbSelf-comparison isn’t a trait that we are born with, it is something that is taught. We inherit this destructive habit honestly. We live in a society that encourages a certain type of look and lifestyle and if you don’t possess that look or lifestyle you’re deemed insignificant. It almost seems impossible to not want to compare ourselves to others when this new generation encourages social connection 24/7. The good thing is, like every false myth that is taught for you to learn, you can also unlearn. Comparing ourselves forces us to believe that we’re less than others. It frequently makes us feel inferior and inadequate. This toys with our ability to connect with others because if we feel we are beneath someone, our desire to compare ourselves discourages us from wanting to connect with those we feel hold superiority over us. The first key to unlearning self-comparison is accepting that you suffer from it. Most of us are aware that we subject ourselves to comparing our lives to others but we ignore it and don’t seek change.

I think the fear of admittance, not just to others but mainly ourselves is what holds us back from accepting our truth. To keep it real, a lot of my introversion in the past stemmed from me feeling unequal to those that I surrounded myself with. I couldn’t level up because any attempt to do so still made feel like the people I had met were better than me. It made me feel very insecure. This was proof that comparison starts with that lack of security with self. Comparison was very often a reminder that I was not where I wanted to be, so I went back into seclusion, isolating myself or only surrounding myself in crowds that felt safe/comfortable or catered to my low self-esteem. I wasn’t concerned about becoming better because we all know, being better doesn’t mean being the best. It means being able to surround ourselves with all likes and kinds.  We compare ridiculous things such as body types, relationship statuses, career successes and worldly possessions. When we’re stuck living a life of comparison we’re not in tune with our true selves. We’re telling ourselves that “I am unhappy with you which is why I strive to be her/him because you do not meet your own requirements.” We reject ourselves on account of someone else’s life. You’re not alone in this habit, we’ve all done it and at times most of us still continue to do it. It’s acknowledging when it’s occurring and redirecting it into something more positive that helps you to rid yourself of this destructive habit.

We have develop a certain level of security with self so we aren’t feeling inferior around others who may appear to be living better than we are. Energy is constant and ever flowing. Eventually any and all energy manifests in our lives. What you have the power to create you also have the power to change. Higher vibrational energies consume lower energies, so if you don’t like the life you’re presently living, you possess the power to change it. It does not magically change by you comparing your life to someone else. Law of action… Take the initiative to change what you no longer feel is working for you.

How do I stop comparing myself with others?

Get clear about you. How do you really feel about you? What are you doing to change these feelings? Start with the internal work. Perfect the spirit and all else follows. When I truly loved myself all else fell in line. Life started to shift. Having a strong sense of self lets you see others’ successes and become better, not bitter. When you’re confident in your own light, you trust that someone else light does not have the power to dim yours. There’s enough for all of us to shine. It also teaches us to not measure what we do by what others have done. We’ve all been blessed with our own individual gifts. So while what you’ve done may empower me, it does not hinder the power of my own gift. What will hinder me is me choosing to focus on what you’re doing and not working to perfect the gifts that I’ve been blessed with. Many of us feel purposeless because we are too focused on others and not ourselves. We’re focused on what is around us not realizing we’re living our purpose. When seeking meaningful things in our lives that helps to propel us to a new level as well. Everyone has his or her own strengths, no one person is better than the other. Titles and ranks mean nothing when you’re living your life for you and not to be accredited by the world. When you spend your life chasing recognition, you’re also telling yourself that you’re only as good as others say you are. The desire for validation. Waiting around for others to affirm you is harmful. Youu are what you think about and your world will be a product of those thoughts. Cause and effect! So if you feel you’re less than, your world will reflect that. If you feel he/she is better than you, yes, your world will be a reflection of that because you’re creating it. Your external circumstances only shift when you do the internal work first. I can only become who I believe I am and by working to become it… Comparison is self-sabotage. When you outgrow the desire to compare yourself to someone else you elevate the power to be true to oneself.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.



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