Ask. Visualize. Claim. Expect.
Your life is an endless celebration and you should live it as such. I can openly admit that I have not always been the most confident individual. When you’ve struggled the majority of your life attempting to love and accept who you are, confidence isn’t always your strongest point. Understandably, it was quite difficult to be confident in someone I had yet to discover. I did not know me so how could I honestly trust and love me. How could I worship Someone I was taught to hate? I lived a lot of my younger years in a space of uncertainty. Striving to be who I thought people wanted me to be opposed to me being true to my natural self. Any form of hatred is taught and self-hate is not exempt to those teachings. What is projected onto you in the process of evolving and growing older can often times become what you demonstrate not just to self, but to others as well. So, growing up, allowing myself to clearly see the significance in self-appreciation was justifiably a difficult task for me.
“Caring how others love or accept you become less of your worries when you realize we are all struggling to love and accept ourselves.” – Amber Janae
One day I visualized the woman I desired to be. This visualization wasn’t anywhere close to the imperfect being who struggled with esteem, self-depreciation and overall dissatisfaction with life itself. I didn’t know how I would make it happen, but as I visualized myself as a woman who was the complete opposite I knew I had to overcome my struggle with aligning myself in order to evolve beyond who I presently was. I foresaw A woman who commanded attention with her words. A woman who walked confidently because she truly felt it, not because she was pretending. A woman who understood the essence of falling in love with her entire being and that this was a prerequisite to life, this wasn’t optional. I also knew that outside of learning to love me I wanted to contribute something meaningful to the world. I wanted to be of service to God. I wanted to live a purposeful life. I knew that if I could overcome the trying challenges that I faced, my stories could surely become a refuge for others who are enduring the same. So for a long time, the only thing I prayed for was clarity and a chance to reconnect with who I truly was. I desired to be brought to a place of self-discovery. I wanted desperately to know who I truly was internally by learning to unconditionally love the version of me I had yet to discover.
Vacuity had become my best friend, I wanted desperately to detach from that. So I claimed it! And I was very intentional about what I set out to accomplish. I was very intentional about evolving beyond my false sense of self and reconnecting with my true self. Somewhere deep down I trusted that I was her and she was me. Every day I would work toward self-appreciation, reshaping my mind, my inner-self, and heart. I would also never forget the space that I recovered from. The space that I discovered God’s love. All the pain I recovered from and how it had become abundantly clear that it was meant for me to share my journey with the world. I expected growth to happen. I anticipated my evolution. As it all started to unfold, unexpected things started to occur. The more I worked on me the more God showed me that abundance is achievable. I started to see the power in being my true self. It’s funny how when we are struggling others expect us to always be the unhealed version of ourselves. But the moment we evolve beyond that space we’re asked to be humble and not celebrate our glory. The irony!
I say all of that to say, while where you are and where you come from may differ substantially, your life is and will always be an endless celebration. It is okay to be proud of yourself. There is no wrong in celebrating your authenticity. My intent to no longer live in darkness was achieved by embracing my authentic self and being comfortable with celebrating that. Even the parts of the journey that most would deem unattractive. I wanted to be able to confidently celebrate myself without feeling an ounce of guilt or uncertainty. Being bullied for most of my life, I learned from other people’s ideas of who they professed me to be and I believed it. Essentially, it resulted in me being uncomfortable with myself.
It was other people’s opinions that helped to shatter the little bit of pride in myself that I felt until it was non-existent. And it was MY JOB to reclaim it all by finding the beauty in the darkness no matter what. I had to find it in myself to not be afraid to seem too pompous or too boastful in the eyes of others. I am me. This is me. This is who I have become and my celebration is just my way of showering myself with love and appreciation. I celebrate me because I don’t need to wait for others to validate if I am worthy of celebration. I was tired of waiting around for others to applaud me. I’m not in need of validation or confirmation because when seeking it through external forces of this world I always came up short.
I learned to celebrate myself. I learned to be proud of who God created me as. And where my strength has brought me from. I’ve learned to be unashamed about the blessings God and Universe have bestowed upon me because it’s rightfully mine. I am deserving. I am in full celebration of what I have earned. So even though at times it may be hard. Even though others may attempt to question why you celebrate you and if you’re doing it too much or not enough, STILL celebrate YOU. Celebrate yourself. Be proud of who God has molded you into. Even if the present version of yourself isn’t where you desire to be, you are still a gem as you are. You’re living in the likeness of your divinity and that is all that matters. When you celebrate yourself, you’re celebrating the power and graciousness of God. Celebrate Yourself it is okay!
Photo Cred: Aurora James – Founder of Brother Vellies
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.