3 Harsh Truths About Your Personal Growth That No One Tells You


ameriieThere was a time in my life when pain was my natural state of being. Darkness was comfort. It actually felt completely normal for me to be unhappy or unsatisfied all of the time. I reveled in dysfunction by choosing to entertain inharmonious, unhealthy relationships. These were things that were comfortable for me. I battled with depression for many years. It was actually very difficult for me to not think about or attempt suicide. Overtime I realized, as the same situations in my life became more and more reoccurring, it was me not them. There was something within me that was trigger or attracting what my life had become. I started to realize that the course of my life was the result of years and years of unhealed pain.I began my healing journey years ago. During the beginning of the process I hadn’t even realized that I was undergoing growth and transformation.

It wasn’t what I thought it would be. I experienced a lot of emotions that I necessarily didn’t imagine I’d feel. Even though I had committed to transforming all of who I was for the better, I went through a lot of trying situations, still. I questioned myself a lot. I wanted to give up a lot because the journey that I had chosen to embark on what nothing like I was told it would be or even imagined it to be. We tend to conform to comfort when things don’t fit the fairytale image  we’ve created in our minds. We walk away when the journey to personal development turns out to be tougher than what we bargained for. In all honesty, it isn’t supposed to be easy. The truth is, it isn’t about it being perfect or a fairytale. Life will deal you whatever deck of cards necessary to bring you closer to your true self. Here are 3 things that no one told me about my personal growth and life transformation journey, but they later became the very things I never knew I needed.

They Don’t Tell You…

Everything You Need Is Within

When I first decided that I wanted to change for the better I didn’t quite grasp the concept that the change required me and only me. I was in search of everything and everyone but myself. I wanted others to fill the voids that I refused to give attention to. I wanted love from others to fill me in the places that I refused to love myself. I ignored the fact that external forces would never be able to solve my internal issues. I latched to people for the sake of not being able to tolerate how it felt to be alone with myself. I was a mess. I needed attention, but not attention from the outside world. I needed to give myself attention. I needed to get in tune with who I was. I needed to accept that all that I was in search of existed within me already. The people in your life will not solve your problems. In fact, they’re more than likely hindering your growth opposed helping it. You are your biggest problem. But you are also your solution. Commit to healing. Trust that you are already that person, you just need to do the required inner work to get there.

The Shit Hurts

Basically, that is all there is to it. There was pain and lots of it. There was suffering. I had to face the harsh reality that everything or everyone I thought I needed was actually harmful for me during my growth process. That shit hurt! We can easily get wrapped up in a sense of comfort in our darkness. We also reach a point where we avoid the truth about us. We do our best to escape from what’s real. The truth is, there is no avoidance on the path of personal growth. You cannot shortcut the journey by refusing or choosing to do only some of the work. You cannot result to comfort because your path to growth became too painful to bear. The pain is immanent. You will suffer, but that is okay. I think the most painful part of my journey was feeling like I had progressed and being exposed to a specific person or situation that reminded me, I was not where I thought I was. It was like being slapped back into reality. It felt like a set back in those moments. Those types of experiences will occur and it is perfectly normal. Sometimes we need pain to propel us forward. Sometimes it is only suffering that causes us to get tired of our own shit and take control over our life. It will hurt, but the reward in who you become is far greater than any pain you’ll ever experience during the process.

You Have to Become One with the Unknown

We can easily retract backwards because familiarity feels better than the unknown. The truth is, as you begin to awaken to a deeper more healed version of yourself, everything becomes new. Even you. The transformative process of shedding the old to step into new is foreign to a lot of us. Everything you thought you knew about personal growth will require you to release control and embrace all of which you do not know. Familiarity is choosing to remain attached to our false sense of self. The false self is an over exaggerated version of ourselves we created to identify with the world around us. Our persona, old habits and ways of thinking is what feeds the false self and keeps it alive. When we choose to let that part of us die we bring forth new light and life. There is no true life without death first. When we commit to growth, we detach from the idea of who we think we are, thus creating less resistance on the path of discovering what already exist deep within us. Become one with the unknown. Be open to living in the present, for it is the only place in which you will become one with your soul.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed. 

Photo Cred: Amerie via BeautyBooksAmeriie.com


19 thoughts on “3 Harsh Truths About Your Personal Growth That No One Tells You

  1. This is a very true article. In my opinion, encountering a person or situation that forces you to realize you haven’t progressed as much as you thought would make a 4th point on your list. These moments can trigger new developments in the personal growth process that can add much value.

  2. This was definitely needed; especially the part about growth being painful. So many times, people look to others to help them grow, or criticize others for their lack of growth, when in reality, the person who needs the most criticism is self. In the end, no one else is able to hold you accountable internally. Change and growth starts from within.

  3. Learning about ourselves can be very scary. True. Healing is painful. Who really wants to feel pain? Most don’t. It takes a strong individual to realize that pain is the only way to heal and to grow stronger. Great Post!

    1. Thank you so much. I love you too and appreciate you so much. I am so grateful that I am able to use my platform to be able to inspire you. Thank you for your support. Looking forward to visiting South Africa soon. Hopefully we’ll have the chance to meet. 🙂 xo

  4. What a deep post. The one thing (there are many) I love about your posts is your vulnerability. You are real and give your readers everything you have in the hope that they will grasp your reality as well as learn life lessons.

    We should grow on a daily basis and it is our responsibility to dig deep and identify the root of our feelings, our insecurities. No one other than us is responsible for this.

  5. Thanks for a great post – I love your honesty and courage to be so authentic. That’s my journey — learning to just be myself and love myself as is. Not always easy to do. But I’m getting there!

    Loved this line by the way: “Sometimes it is only suffering that causes us to get tired of our own shit and take control over our life.” I think this is me in 2017. Time to silence my inner critics and take back my power! 😊

  6. This really resonated with me and is something I find myself writing about quite often. I had always been in a desperate search for a “fix” if you will until I decided to lean on myself. Love and light to you!

  7. It’s true, no one tells you these things! I was blinded by the smiley-happy “Law of Attraction” people around me, and for a while, I thought my own growth process was wrong because it hurt. Thank you for being honest about this.

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