I had convinced myself I was quitting… Every day I felt like I had given up on me but what I really needed was room to breathe. I had been feeling this way nonstop, for months. 3 books in, an award-winning blog, a podcast, readers all over the world and I can still convince myself this isn’t enough to to keep pursuing. Why was that? Truth is, I’ve been writing all my life it feels like. As far back as I could remember, I’ve relied on a pen and a pad to express my truest, deepest feelings. Somehow what came so natural for me started to feel forced. had begun to feel caged in by my own talents. I didn’t know what was true for me anymore. I didn’t know what was real. The purpose seemed purposeless. I was pushing myself to keep pressing forward when all I truly wanted to do was leave it all behind.
When I started this journey, I could only hope to touch a fraction of the lives that I have touched today. As I continue to grow in my craft, the only thing my heart yearns is Love and to be of service. I am formed together with strength, perseverance, wisdom, relentlessness, and integrity. All I want is what feeds my soul. I crave substance. I want longevity. I have found that through my creativity, I am fed all of these things and more. I’ve let go of my desire to fit in or be something that I am not. I embrace my authentic self fully. I’ve learned that on this journey, it is of my own. This belongs to me. I will not continue to struggle or fight to meet the world’s standards. I am doing this for me. I am here to continue to create what feeds me, while simultaneously serving those who rely on my work to help them heal and grow.
When I feel like giving up, I am reminded to continue to create magical healing projects through my words. Soon, I will know what it feels like to look in the eyes of the millions that are touched by my words. It’s funny that all that I say that I want, I already possess. I’ve craved these things for what seemed a lifetime and finally they’re all in the palm of my hands. I used all that I possess to create a platform that encourages healing and self-discovery. It’s a strange feeling when you’re read and acknowledged in countries that you can’t even pronounce. I also find it to be selfish that there are days when I seek more. There are days when I forget to stop to smell the roses.
In life, it is all about doing what feeds our soul. We can only continue to create the life that empowers us while inspiring others along the way. So, continue to share your experiences of healing to encourage others to heal as well. I know that I am deeply rooted in the love of my creator. I also want you to know and trust in this as well. We must know that God’s plan is far beyond what we can fathom so we must remain faithful in our process. I believe in the not yet seen. But I also trust the feeling of what has yet to arrive. The feeling of beauty and greatness on the horizon.
I once discovered that one of my biggest fears in life was to waste my time here in the physical and be a disservice to God. I no longer fear that because I’ve chosen to find peace in what I contribute my heart and time to daily.When you find peace in what you do, you’ve found success. When you feel yourself entertaining that deep-rooted fear of not being enough, let it go. Stop entertaining your fears. When you feel like giving up and all that you have done isn’t enough, keep progressing. A fear based mindset will keep us all trapped and enslaved if we allow it to. It is said that the true root of our purpose lies in the things that do not just benefit us, but is of service to others. More and more I realize that I can live without fame, money and accolades.
I will be perfectly content without popularity because none of these things equate to success. I tie my success to being divinely present in the now. It is my ability to be present that I allow me to be one with my soul. It is my oneness with my true self that allows me to live as a creative and create pieces that inspires and heals others. Giving up and moving on to other things may seem ideal, but it is often the moments right when we feel like giving up that we’re close to a breakthrough. It can seem like the smartest thing to do it to give up, but if we are a disservice to ourselves in this world than what I are we truly? Just existing! Here’s to resilience. Here’s to constantly seeking growth and prosperity through the power of the gifts God has placed within our hearts. Here’s to extending our hearts in hopes to inspire others. Here’s to being connected to source and being of service to the infinite being we call God. Here’s to choosing to keep pressing forward when we feel like we’re at our breaking point and want to give up.