Sunday I sat and thought a lot about how we can waste so much of our energy being resentful of the past. The first thing that leaves our lips when we feel betrayed by another is, “how could you waste my time?” But do we ever consider that it is less about our timing being wasted and more of an issue of us devaluing ourselves to the point that we aren’t cautious of what we invest ourselves in? Truth is, we have the power to carefully assess every encounter with every being outside of ourselves. We have the power to take our time in getting to know a person before we allow ourselves to be fully invested into a situation that could potentially be emotionally harmful. I like to look at the way I value me before I accuse someone else of not seeing my true value. How can they see it if I refuse to?
For me, this starts with ensuring I maintain a healthy, well-balanced relationship with self. Most of us believe it takes extreme effort or doing more than normal to achieve a healthy, quality relationship with self. My only goal really is to cultivate a life where my relationship with self is thriving and healthy. It’s easy to focus on everything around us and neglect ourselves. Most of us have not tapped into the value of a quality relationship with ourselves, which has resulted in us becoming far too dependent on external forces. Loneliness is a sign that we are in desperate need of ourselves. It means that it is time to delve deeper into who we truly are. It’s a sign we are eager for a deeper connection with our soul.
Go Within …
How do we begin to maximize the relationship with our self? How do we begin to maximize our value for ourselves? We become more intentional. Anything you seek to accomplish about you must first be intentional. Our self-care is no longer an option, it is now a necessity. You will not be able to function physically without true knowledge self and love for self. There is a universal shift that is in occurrence and has been this way for quiet some time. This shift has a lot of us who are being pushed further and further into accepting the parts of us we continue to disregard. You may feel you’re being pushed to go deep within yourself to deal with any unhealed, past life trauma that has been discounted for years, maybe even lifetimes. A lot of us are experiencing moments of struggle or discomfort because it is bringing us face to face with where we are falling short in truly valuing our entire being and learning to embrace all of who we are. My advice to you on ways to maximize your self-value and focus is:
You cannot focus on self if you are constantly tuned in to what is going on around you. Unplug. Disconnect. Stop checking your phone first thing in the morning. Stop checking your phone before bed. Stop spending more time on social media and keeping up with others than you do focusing on spending quality time with yourself. Use your alone time to connect with you. Don’t give away the time sacred time you have to build with self for things that do not contribute to your growth.
The easiest way to connect with yourself on a deeper level is for you to gain full clarity on how you’re really feeling. To achieve this, it is best to write these feelings out. At times, we’re experiencing things emotionally that are deeper than what we’re willing to admit out loud. Being able to write these emotions down becomes a relief and release all at the same time. Even taking the time to write love letters to yourself or affirmations to remind you of your power and who you are can help. Often, the idea of speaking things aloud causes fear and anxiety. Writing them can become a cure, a tool that opens one up to being brave enough to express their pain more fluidly. Whether your feelings are positive or negative, being able to express these feelings by writing them out helps to release them and the source in which they developed from. When written you’re also free to revisit how you were feeling, when and why if needed, but in most cases, it’s just a way to help you clear unwanted energy and spend quality time with self.
Cater to Self
How you treat yourself sets the tone of how others treat you. No matter what your relationship status is, you should always be committed to you first. The importance of catering to ourselves is the gateway to never needing others to validate or affirm us. It is the reminder that what we need to feel whole and complete exists and begins within first. Take yourself on dates. Treat yourself to nice gifts. Buy yourself flowers. Do these things so that you’re not dependent on others to do them for you. But also, so that you know that your value or worth isn’t dependent on what do or do not do for you.
Introduce yourself to the art of affirming your own divine beauty, value, importance, and light. Every day, all day start speaking positive, affirming words to yourself. In the beginning, it may feel funny because you may not be used to it, but the more you do it the better it feels. Below are a few affirmations to get you started on maximizing your self-value and self-focus.
- I am.
- I value myself.
- I love myself enough to be mindful of who allow in my personal space.
- I value myself enough to know not everyone deserves access to me.
- I love myself unconditionally and accept all of who I am.
- I am a powerful woman/man with unlimited gifts.
- I am worthy of love. I know that love starts with me.
- I am a magnet for all things that are in support of my highest good.
- I do not have to lower my vibrations or change my natural state of being for anyone. Who is meant for me will love me as I am and match my vibrations.
Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.
Photo Cred: Jenn Hammer of The TravelHer