Curbing The Desire to Speak Negatively About Others

locksandtrinkets.com9_The other day I was texting a friend, during our random small talk, the conversation took a hard left. They began to discuss someone else very distastefully. I did not know this person but the entire conversation made uncomfortable. Not that the conversation would have gone differently had I known the person they were speaking of, but it just didn’t feel good altogether. Instead of calling my friend out on their shit, I abruptly ended the conversation without giving a response. I can admit, years ago, it once felt good to be able to drag someone for what I perceived to be their low points. But in growing older and evolving myself, I realized that my negative talk toward others was just a reflection of myself.

We’ve all done it. Some of us still thrive off it. Perhaps you’ve adopted the idea that speaking badly about others is harmless. But your desire to speak negatively toward someone else is the result of deeply rooted, unresolved issues within you. When speaking down on others, you hardly ever think about the root in which this negativity is stemming from. In most cases, you engage in negative talk toward others because you’re unhappy and the misery of others is gratifying for you in your unhappy state. How many of you can consciously admit that your desire to speak negatively about others is motivated by issues that you, yourself have yet to deal with? Not many can admit this.

Other Triggers that result in negative talk toward others are simple things most aren’t honest about and refuse to address.


When you’re uncomfortable with yourself, you can always find fault in someone else. Other people’s faults can result in temporary joy or comfort in your insecure state.

Having too Much Time on Your Hands

Imagine being so unfulfilled within yourself, you fill your free time with negatively discussing others.

Lack of Awareness

Your inability to be aware of ourselves and others can result in serious negativity. You lack the ability to be aware of how your actions and words can impact others on an emotional and mental level. That lack of awareness to supports you carrying on these habits and not correcting them.

The Positivity Challenge

It’s been a year or more since my best friend and I started a positivity challenge. During a huge life transition for her, she asked for my support in sending her only positive and affirming things. This meant the elimination of memes, videos, Instagram photos, and tweets that could trigger any negativity for her. If either of us broke the challenge and sent the other anything that didn’t meet the positive guidelines we’d have to send a dollar via Venmo.

The challenge was intended to only last 6 months, but once we reached the 6-month mark we realized how life changing it was and continued with it. Now, over a year later we still practice the daily ritual of sending each nothing but positivity. All day, we both get affirming quotes, photos, and videos that keep us uplifted in positivity. It is also a reminder of how beautiful life truly is. There is no focus on other people’s negativity because we are so focused in elevating ourselves.

I also noticed that I block any gossip pages that promote down talking people who are in the public eye. It supports negativity and all we ever really see is a bunch of miserable people supporting the constructiveness in the comment sections. So I would like to challenge you all to participate in the positivity challenge.

How to Do It  

Find a reliable friend or multiple friends that will hold you accountable and vice versa.

Get rid of any photos, memes, IG + Twitter accounts that support negativity.

Set a beginning and an ending date for your challenge. (I anticipate it continuing after you do it 21 days straight.)

Find empowering things to send to your friends via DM’s, text or email on a daily basis.

Stay committed. If you send anything that has a negative context in or does not support positivity, send all who are participating in your challenge $1.

I hope that the positivity challenge inspires you all to be better versions of yourself and treat others with respect in their presence and behind their back.

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed.

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One thought on “Curbing The Desire to Speak Negatively About Others

  1. Yes, great share. I use to not mind those types of chats around me now the second I hear it begin I remove myself. Of course, we all fall into conversations with negatives tones at times but I believe once we know better we can choose to remove ourselves and do better. When I myself find I am about to say a negative comment about someone I ask myself is that really necessary and it helps me check myself.

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