Life is Better When We Learn to Face Ourselves and Take Accountability for Our Own Shit

I am the master of my identity. Anything evil or negative that I’ve chosen to project onto others is a reflection of my true self.” – AJ  

IMG_9015.JPGEvery day I find solitude in embracing my struggle. Growing up I faced a lot of adversities. Like many of us, life was deemed imperfect at a very young age. As an adult, I now see the beauty in these experiences. The power in my ability to transmute what weighed me down.  Defying the norm, beating the odds that I thought were set against me. As I began to look deeply into myself, I saw that my only set back is what I thought it to be. My reality was a product of my thoughts and began to shift the moment I decided the weight of victimization was one that was too much to carry. I thought that life was once defined by what existed outside of me. Thankfully, I proved that to be wrong.

This is why I self-reflect. It is my chance to see where the fault lies, creating an open opportunity to correct what is presently holding me back from being my best self.

In the past I was great at masquerading, pretending. My life wasn’t as close to the perfect image I perceived it to be, but at times, the truth is hard to face so running means escaping it. Life, at one point in time was a complete and utter mess. Afraid to face my truth, constantly living in comparison to others, I was desperately fighting a war within. Comparison was how I developed a habit of despising others for what I thought I lacked. Everyone around me had become an enemy because I refused to see my own power and beauty. My self-perceived lack made me feel less than. My inability to self-reflect left me unsure about myself.

If we aren’t careful we will point the finger and hold other people accountable for what we lack. It is not someone else’s responsibility to prove that we are worthy. Being content with self is an inside job.

Unknowingly, I had become bitter. My previous heart had grown to hate what I admired or was envious of. Do you see how easy it is to create an enemy? How our own unresolved issues form unspoken wars with others because we hate what we refuse to face. Then the question constantly aroused, was it others that I hated or was it really myself that I hated? Had other people become a silent reminder that I wasn’t the person I desired to be?  Self-reflection helped me to discover the root of my pain. It helped me to release any and all negativity.

 “It’s easy to pretend ‘to be fierce and fearless because living your truth takes real courage. Real fearless and fierce women admit mistakes and they work to correct them. We stand up and we use our voices for things other than self-promotion. We don’t stand by and let racism and sexism and homophobia run rapidly on our watch. Real fearless and fierce women compliment other women and we recognize and embrace that their shine in no way diminishes our light and that it actually makes our light shine brighter.” – Gabrielle Union

 At some point, we have to learn that we are our own worst enemies. At some point, we have to take a step back and realize it is not them it is us. We have to learn to see ourselves for who we are and take accountability for our own shit. How often do you see yourself? How often do you self-reflect and self-correct? At some point we have to take accountability for the fact that we create our own failures by living in fear of being inadequate, harboring on thoughts of insecurity driven feelings, feelings of inequality and feelings of self-doubt or worry caused by comparison. Our inability to constantly self-reflect leaves us misguided. Self-reflect. Dig deep. Figure out why you are the way you are. If something isn’t right, work to fix it. Self-reflect because you care enough to see yourself be your best.

 Processed with VSCO with b5 presetAsk yourself:

How Can I Seek to Live A Life According to God’s Promise for Me and Not Someone else?

While many of us desire to live a certain life and create a certain lane, we fail due to our inability to see past our own suffering. We can see past the victimization and self-neglect. We are fixated on the world around us, controlled by what other people are doing, allowing it to be a distraction.  We self-reflect to discover our own power. We self-reflect to discover the beauty in being our truest selves and that there is no joy to be found in desiring to be someone else.


“I have no time to worry if your grass is greener because I am too busy watering my own.” – Source Unknown  


Do a heart, mind, body and soul check:

What are you allowing yourself to feel? What are you allowing yourself to believe about yourself and others? How easy is it for you to discredit your own ability to manifest beauty into your reality? Are you more trusting in recreating a life that is not of your own or doing the work to flourish in your own light? What are you allowing yourself to believe about yourself that is allowing you to create false enemies in others and more importantly yourself?


How am I getting better? How am I healing? How am I growing?


“Thank you for not tap dancing on my misery, even when I wasn’t always returning the favor.” – Gabrielle Union 

See yourself. Face yourself. Embrace yourself. Do not be afraid of self-reflection. We self-reflect because we want to speak life into others. We want to uplift others with our actions and words. We self-reflect because we do not want to live in a constant state of confusion about who we are. We self-reflect because how we feel about us determines how we feel about the world and treat others. We self-reflect because we know that the only thing in life that is constant is change. If we are not changing we have fallen in love with being stagnant. We have married the idea that there is something admirable or valuable about remaining the same. Start today by discovering the beauty in being the most prized version of yourself. Self-reflect, do the inner work!

Be Inspired. Be Encouraged. Be Blessed. 


2 thoughts on “Life is Better When We Learn to Face Ourselves and Take Accountability for Our Own Shit

  1. This is a beautiful post. Self reflection is so important. It’s so easy to fall victim to our situations but when we reality we have all the power, even when other people do us wrong. I believe that the way we react to situations speaks volumes. I need to do it more often but I do sit down and reflect on what I’ve been doing wrong, what I’ve been doing right and how I can improve on both aspects.

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